I can't even attempt it.

It's 3.04 pm and I've yet to leave my room. I've been awake since 10, but I'd go from fiddling with the PC, then re-hibernating.

After 3?5? days of stress...wow! Ang sarap. Todo.


Fine maliligo na ko in a while.


I sooo need to finish my Ad Design plate already.


I WANT TO WRITE BUT I DO NOT HAVE MATERIAL!

'Ramon' says

Ramon Rios (9/29/2008 9:37:48 PM): pg mei gus2 kang gawin, dpat buo loob mo para wlang pgsisisi
maccaroo (9/29/2008 9:37:58 PM): oooohhh
Ramon Rios (9/29/2008 9:38:01 PM): kc kung mei khit onting pgdududa, wg mo ng i2loy


...

Stress. Konte nalang and everyone will be acting in their worst behaviours. But in the end love's love.

...


Reading Archie Comics is so relaxing because it is such an archetype. There's the nice guy, the nice girl, the snob, the slob, the slut, the male-slut, the jock, the brain... and it just fits well.

Life is not complicated.

Life is a consistent fairy tale of Poptate's and Junior Year.

...

Uh-huh. Daring.

Shallowity

Maybe life would be so much better if things were a little bit more shallow. It's actually the great vacation if I start seeing things in the light side, not the damaged philosophical-psychonalysis-spiritual way I strangely immerse myself in 24/7.

Maybe it's not about power. Maybe it's not about stress.

Maybe it's not about how different girls are from boys are from men.

Maybe it's not about the fucking IMC Plan.

It's better if I don't like pleasing yous. It's okay. :)



hajhaksfhkashfdkasf.


...

September: Monthly Tagalog Post

Ewan ko kung bakit, pero wala naman ako gusto at dapat patunayan.
Wow.


Pero natatakot na din ako dahil hindi ko na alam kung ano ang mangyayari. Panu kung madala ka?

Wow. Emo. Tagalog version.

...

Bestie, alam ko naman na lagi kang tama. Kung hindi lagi, MADALAS. Mga 95% of the time. Diba? Since "bata" pa tayo...

Hindi naman ako kokontra e. Alam ko naman na mahal mo ko at gusto mo lang kung anung makakabuti sakin. Lagi. Bilang kapatid at alaga mo.


(Fuck you drama)
...


[Tagalog Mode Off]


I just wish...

Rub

You'll never know how much that means to me.

Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita.

Once upon a time.

Me, two years ago. Gawd I'm skinny. I had such pretty hair. Ack. And the hottest pair of legs known to mankind.

No after pictures for this one. :*

Lablab

"Ang oras ay biglang natrapik."
I just wanna kiss you.
:*


And when we get the there we're gonna fly so faraway, making sure to laugh while we experience antigravity.

Ugh.

Stop. That.

Uhhuh.


Your eyes hurt and it feels like its tearing up.

Somethings are more importan than the either, though the matter is completely irrelevant.

Brigtherers

I've been avoiding my room like plague for the past three days. I've been sleeping everywhere but. The other night, I slept at Jul's and Jas's, then I slept at the rec room, then the master's... then some nights, I'm not sleeping at all.

Everything's just so messy.

Nothing's at it's proper place and I have no time or energy or inspiration to fix anything. Grabe. I'm still at my all time low. Well, typically low.. not exageratedly. Labo nun ah.


I don't know when I'll be sleeping tonight though. God please save me because I have this sinking, nagging feeling that I'll be having an alcohol fix tonight. Which is wrong because I have no budget or tolerance for it anymore. And I can't afford to miss another class tomorrow. But you know how my relation to peer pressure is... so, there.



On the low of lows side of life: I'm still missing A LOT OF PHOTOS FOR PHOTOGEE, I do not have the balls to do an AdPrac Jingle and I am back at 88 pounds, when I'm supposed to be 90.


On the brighter side of life, I will officially be growing my hair.


On the brighterer side of life, I have finally revived mi iPod, I will be formatting my laptop (AGAIN FOR THE NTH TIME), and I have finally conceptualized for my Ad design events plate, and I have parties and non parties left and right which is exactly how I need life to be.


On the unbright side, I am late for my PD submission. Which, well, sucks.

Love Letter

There's nothing else in the world I'd want to do, but can't seem to, than to write you this love letter.

Call me speechless, if you must.

I've been sitting here for past an hour, pen in hand, scratching and scrawning my way, attempting to express how much you mean to me. I can't find the right words.

Perhaps all the good words in the dictionary would suffice. Perhaps all the romantic expressions other people have spoken of can suitingly express what I want to tell you.

I want to weave words poetically. To be able to elaborate how much madness my falling in love with you has caused me.

I've been told that love hurts. That the pain of a broken heart is way beyond the pains of the greatest form of physical injury. That the damage it makes can change how my life goes.

But meeting you has already changed my life. You have struck me with so much desire. Everything you do is beautiful. Every movement is charm. Every word you speak is boundless. And no amount of pain, not at the moment and not at the future, can stop me from loving every single inch of you.

Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting her not to.


Then they ask me why I risk having you, of all people, break my heart? And burst of reasons come about.

Life before you was vast emptiness, where pleasure weighed more than reason. Where reason weighed more than my heart. Then you come around, with all your lovelines and I started living like I've never before.

I feel more intensely alive, more intensely real. As if the dimming filter of numbness was shattered before my very eyes. The world suddenly shouts with bright colors, sharply outlined shaped, evocative scents, intriguing textures, music, laughter and flashes of joy.

The world was warmer, sweeter, and lovelier. Happiness was embodied in the little girl that is you. And no one else comes near to the love you make me feel. My heart is overflowing with your loveliness and no room is left for all other desires because you fill every crevice and corner.


In my heart and in my mind there is bliss.

With all the set of words I've sworn and impressed, I've been dying to tell you only these: I love you. So much and so dearly. I love you.

...don't ask.

Latest collaboration with THE Pepe Le Pepew.

Fluctuating

Life can be fragile. Very.

Life can kiss you on the ass one moment, then slice your fingers off in the next.

Today's Friday but Sunday will come.

...

I am fighting the losing battle against a cliched life

...

Fluctuating is better than an all time low. :*

Moi

I think, I'll be growing my hair. Comments, dears?

...


More stuff to do:

Ad des.. Conceptualization
Photog.. ALL THE PICS
Find PD instructions
Ad Prac.. Jingle T_T

...

Fine, don't comment.. since i don't have much of a choice anymore.

I want:

1. to wear the comfiest jeans as pambahay.
2. wear nail polish again.
3. use my dslr. ive been idle for a week already



i reaally do want to wear my jeans at home. comfy comfy. and a bit loose white tank. pretty. :)

Thought

Mackyboy would always tell me back then to travel beyond my comfort-zones. I never quite figured out what my comfort zone is and to what extent it applies.

According to my psycho-analysis damaged train of thought, possibly, I am having a hard time adapting to the fact that life is imperfect. Curse of virgoes, perfectionists. Something will always be bound to go wrong even if you push your LOA powers to the limit.


Even if things do go wrong, everything will be alright... well, depending on how you define 'alright'.

Ang lupit naman ng post na to. Mind boggling siya in fairness.

...

I miss Geno. So much.

"Walang Nagbago"

Despite the possible consequences, I'm posting this.

Do read.

clicky click:
jyrmpbs.blogspot

On Pride.

Pride. It's something you have the ability to turn on and off.

Pagdating sa sorries, mababa lng pride ko. Kung hindi lng annoying e. Pagdating sa family, tama lng. Keme. Pagdating sa mga saleslady sa malls, fluctuating. Pagdating sa lalake, shet ang taas. Shy ako e! Pagdating sa bisyo, ang baba. Sobra. Konteng peer pressure lang.


Ack. I'm all weirded out again.

What's gonna happen to me?

How common is depression?

Amici.

Please. :( Tonight. :( Mozarella.

Secret Weapons

Weaknesses: Magazines with great layout. As I always say, Presentation is everything.


...


Boyfriends are divided in two categories:

Category A:
Tall probably pretty guys, defined by how rich and cool he is. Good conversationalist with a 300peso plus haircut and high tech gadgets

Category B:
Everything that falls under True Love.

(Ach.)

...

Why am I getting so incredibly obviously short. There are people out there who are just as short as I am, yet no one seems to notice. Is it the hair??

Or maybe you all just know me well.

Despite that:

True Friends = People who know how actually short I am.

Load

Pleasure = Cold hot choco PLUS Nica's happy songs PLUS Paper works.

I love paperworks. It's justa good change from the everyday mess of paint and lead.



Stuff to do:

*Ad Prac: Research on 'yuppies', 'statistics', e.g.; Chapter 5; 6; Compilation and Edit; Radio Ad Script;
*LP Painting: Big painting with reference (I hate)
*PD: Choose Artist; Make studies
*Photo: Prelims, take Human subject with flash, High Key?, Candle Light?, Nigh Scene without Flash, Led light, Light sculpture, Scrupture painted with flash, Double Exposure
*Ad Des: THINK, Make Logo

On Another Note:
*Clean my room
*Charge Ipod after 10 years
*Buy flash for Cam
*TAKE PAU OUT! OUR NIGHT!
*Hannah Lopez's Debut which I am so looking forward to go. Nakalimutan na nga ata niya na invited nia ko e. Iunno. I'm still going though.
*Capture Flyers
*Check Up (for more tha one reasons)


Since I spend the day sleeping for 12 hours, reading magazines and going online half the waking time, socializing for the rest, and SO not working, the load's just swamping on me. Grabe. Haha.

I guess this really is life.

Charmed, this one. This is MOST of what life's got to offer.

Fire in his belly

Passions.

9.12

I'm currently reading Chep and Camille's "The Reader."

I soo did not finish Sophie's World. Ack. Good thing I did not take law. Philosophy sucks especially if you're studying it in your own accord with no guidance or whatsoever.

The Reader is a much calmer read. And miraculously, less emo. Would you believe THAT?


...


Btw, I heart the Fossil watch ma gave me. It's far from THE Kenneth Cole watch I absolutely loved last year, still, this one's pretty. It took me a while to appreciate it actually, but it's actually nice...in a rugged, not too classy, but posh none the less way.

And it's so cowboy! And my arms look sooo fragile in it.

...

Overnight at Wi's tomorrow. Newsflash: The new house has jacuzi! Weeeee!!

Pictionary - LTS Series

Pictures, once more, speak louder than words.

The most unfortunate and UNanticipated twists of events


I heart orange!


And I heart these guys more. :*

LTS

I need better pictures!!!
But this would have to do, I guess.

Details

"Even more damaging than the consumer culture is the use of generalities. When we initially ask people what they need from other people, we usually get vague answers: “I need respect,” “space,” “love,” “to be understood.” Yet what do these really mean? These generalities act as barriers to relationships. We expect the other person to second-guess what we really want. And they can’t! Others will filter these words or phrases through their own childhood experiences, and they will mean different things than they do to us."

Statistics

According to National Statistics Office:

Census count 8 years ago:
Male and Female


Our age group can be found at the 10-14 and 5-9 age bracket.

For a clearer shot of the record:
__AGE____|_total pop_|___male___|_female__|sexratio|
5 to 9_____|1,045,297_|__536,296_|_509,001_|_105.36_|
10 to 14___|_914,010_|__461,142_|_452,868_|_101.83_|

applicable only to NCR year 2000.


Conclusion:
The odds are in favor of us girlies! Yippeee. Huwahahaha.

source: NCR,NSO

Mas sumasakit katawan ko pag nasa bahay lng ako whole day kesa nag amazing race ako. T_T.

Marci

You will meet different people in your life, lots of them. You will greet them in school, chat with them at pavs and yosihan sheds, see them around the mall, colaborate with them workwise... but only few of these people will actually be part of your lives.
(Statement as told by Ji in response to our not wanting to make friends with new people anymore).

...

I have the perfect girls in the world. :)



"...ang perfect kaya ng college life ko dahil sa inyo.."
"...stay pretty, rich, cool, smart. basta lahat ng magaganda..."


Wi's Trivias about Macci
-you hate trinoma
-umiiyak ka pag may cute
-crush mo si.... basta madami
-wala kang gusto as of the moment
-pacute ka by heart
-mahilig ka magjudge ng panget
-[censored]
-[censored]
-in love ka sa love
-masaya ka ngayon
-[censored]
-[censored]
-bwl maglandian sa harap mo
-tinawanan mo si _-_-m last week
-love mo si aiwa, love ko din sya
-hindi ka nanunuod ng tv
-mahilig ka sa sex jokes and poor jokes
-bestfriend mo si _ _ _ _ y <3
-happy birtday, mas maganda ka kay...




...

OH MY GOD!
AKALA KO 7 PASOK!

I woke up at 7:00 and decided not to go to school kasi it's too late na. Ngayon ko lng narealize na 9 ang pasok.. and it's noe 9.30 am. SHEEET!

sfdhkjsfha


The fuck!!

I'm Baaacck!!!

I'm back sweethearts, darlings, dears and loveys.

I never actually went away as you may all now know. I was ranting with august thoughts away.

I just didnt want to bother you with the effing emo-ness.


So I'm back now. And I love yous.


It's 12:56 pm and I've yet to brush my teeth and all that shit. And I just want to be back, I dont want to write yet though.

Love love.


THANKS FOR MISSING ME EVERYONE!

HAPPY 19

This was the first birthday that I didnt expect to be perfect. The first birthday that isn't just about me. It's about the people around me, not just how I want everything to be fairy tale pretty.

And sometimes, you get the best things when you dont expect them. YOU DO get the best things when you don't expect them.

Super thank you kay Kookie. Dear I love you. Salamat sobra sa gift kasi sobrang hindi ko ineexpect na bibigyan mo ko ng gift. Waaaah. Thank you super. Touched ako.

I didnt want to say to much lest sounding insincere, but since, you never read my blog anyway, there's no way I'm sucking up!


Nagulat din ako kay Camille and kay Chep. Kasi they got what I wanted. And si Camille even thought about it. Waaah. Ang cute nio. (PAKSHETTT!!) I could say more, but need I?

Alam ko din na bibigyan ako dapat ni Miguel ng Gin, pero di natuloy. Still, it's the thought that counts.

Mami and Alpreddd, wapak ung Magnum shirt. Mapapadalas kita mo sakin na suot un. Exactly what I needed.

And sa extra gift ni Ji, na 2 Yanyans. :)


And ofcourse, GIRLS, OO NA! BUMALIK AKO SA PAGKABATA DAHIL SA GIFT NIO. MAHAL NA MAHAL KO KAYO. AND SPECIAL KAYO FOREVER KASI COOL TAYO!


Kay Aiwa, for being there. Sa dad ko for doing the groceries. Kay ma for the spaghetti. Kay tita Louisa and Ate Neng for helping with the chores. Para kay Tin, Rog, and sa lahat ng maaga dumating. Kay Jin, kay Te, kay Con, Mel, Niko, BASTA. KAy Dad, kay jomps, kay khan... SA LAHAT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME I LOVE YOUS.


Salamat sa lahat ng dumalo. I love yous. Sana nagenjoy kayo.


Waaaaah! I love yous. Sniff sniff. :( Love love.


Wow.

To Do List

School Stuff:

1. PD Studies
2. Theo
3. Photog
4. Life Painting
5. Ad Des
6. OVER OVER OVER DUE HW for Ad Prod

Drinker's Remorse

Sober up, lovely.


I don't want to do anything crazy and feel this big big big elephant calld remorse hang about the next day. Ever.


I will not go out on friday nights from NOW ON. I swear.


You are living the life you've always wanted (again). Cheers, sweetheart. And get up. Do you plate. Go to school.

Love.

Dear,

Thanks for understanding me forever.
For being 19 with me.

Sorry dahil kinukuha ko lahat ng pantali mo tapos di ko binabalik tapos nagpapagupit ako.
And sa pagsama sa mga trip ko na hindi pang bata.




Thanks girls sa lahat ng candy.
And H2Hs. And for all the love.

And sa pagtolerate sakin dahil im the ff:
a. papansin
b. pacute
c. mean
d. and most of all, feeling!

I LOOVE YOU. WAAAH. CRY CRY.

8.28

Despite old beliefs, I'm starting to convince myself on the contrary (wow. Ang labo ng sentence.)

My point?

Writing is actually keeping me sane instead of turning me crazy. Although, creative writing may possibly do a better job of restoring my sanity. Whatever.

...


I want to blog more deary, but I have work to do. PD studies which I'm planning to rock.


...

OPEN LETTERS:

Dear You, Thank you for everything. You've always been nice to me. Love love. :*

[morena mode off]

They didn't make it on friendster, they may atleast make it on my bloggie. :) In no particular order.

Products of my attempt to capture the browness of my hair. (Failed, but the pics look pretty. :D )

...

BTW. It's the perfectest hair EVER! I swear!

Haircut

Oh yeah, btw, I had a haircut. And very discrete hair color.

One day conclusions:
1. The haircut's too even. Which is weird because I clearly requsted my hairdresser for it to be uneven. Sucks.
2. Hair color's a little less discrete than last time. Gawd, I look so red.


I REALLY WANT SHOULDER-LENGTH HAIR.

I'm not cutting my hair until FEB! I mean, I'm not sure if I can do that, but now that I've told everyone, that's another innovation.

Confess

I clinically depressed.


There! I said it!


Yup. Mild depression. From too much thinking. I don't want a happy pill or anything of the sort, but maybe I need it.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck!
:(

Aside from that, I spend too much. As in too much. My family's spending a little overboard recently. And I'll be spending more soon. My birthday's comig up and I haven't invited much people yet. I don't even want to think about it.

Gawd.

I'm depressed.

I've known this since... I don't know. And to think, I'm actually better these days.


Please make me stop spending. It's freaky.

Fact or fiction shit

When will the day that i stop thinking about the twists of human nature come?
The day that I'll wakeup and smell the air and go on?

Deep.


I can't help buth think of true love these days. Pessimistically speaking (haba nun), does it really exist? Let me rephrase that with a more fitting selection of words... Does true love really ffuucckkiinggg exist?

Human beings are not wired to be monogamous. We just really need changes. Naiinip tayo. Imagine facing the next 40, 50 or even 80 years of your life looking at the same person eveery single day. How do you keep the magic that way?

It's not impossible, of course, but that's pretty difficult. Magka magic palang with someone, it's already much of a challenge.

Okay, so maybe it does exist. The odds are still against it. In the fast moving world where you meet people of different natures every single day, the way we were meant to exist/act as humans, the pleasant and unpleasant surprises of life... will it ever be there?


It's the ultimate high, you know. Love. The thought of loving someone all your life. One person who deserves you and you truly deserve. The person who makes you smile, content, horny (sorry. But, hello, it's true!), precious and appreciated. The person who will make you a better and happier person until the end.


Sigh. Love. The vice of humanity.

Sisters.

I love my sisters very much. I don't say it enough, because, well... hellooo, they're just around everyday. Psychologically speaking, you take for granted everything that has no value of scarcity. But well, I really do love them. And I'm happy we're sisters. I love you Jul and Jas. :*

Lalalalala :)

Ang astig ni Heath Ledger.

Too bad he's dead.


This entry is so long overdue.


I loved Batman : The Dark Knight. Sobra. You have no idea.

I mean, you know how everyone's going through some weird psychopathy these days, right? Or well, maybe that's just me.


Wait. Deja vu?

Or baka naman nasulat ko na to before.


...


Funny, you guys dont know that I'm still blogging. I can't NOT blog, you know. I can't help it. My hands will always find a way to get itself on a keyboard and type away like there's no tomorrow. Despite the senselessness, I still write. I'm just waiting for one of us to giveup on me. It's either you dear readers whom I've been sneakily cheating on, or myself.

...

OBSERVATIONS:

Ehem.

Ang epal ng world. Pag hindi ako nagsulitxt, may nagtetext sakin. Tas pag nagsulitxt ako, wala naman nagtetext. WHAT DA FUCK!


P.S. Macci. Please stop stalking your crushes. Para kang gago.

.

In English:

"Text me, you motherfuckingbitch! Fuck you!"


In Tagalog:

"Itext mo ko! Isa kang mothefuckingbitch! Pakyu!"

Pleasures

It's official.

I like going home drunk. Semi.

Easier said than done. Pero pag andun ka na sa moment, nagisisisi ka, dahil... basta! Tapos you curse yourself the next day because hang overs are the worstest worstests! Ever.


Pleasures in life:

1. Going out really late.
2. Spending
3. Gossip
4. Political conversations: Talking about religion, batman, the government, and hollywood.. etc etc.
5. Making out with someone you like.
6. Taking great pictures
7. Watching feel good movies
8. Milo
9. Compliments
10. KNOWING HE LIKES YOU!WOOOHOOHOOHOOO!
11. When your toe nails are clean and painted with clear polish. Ang ganda e.
11. Cleaning your ears na sobrang sarap tumitirik mata mo
12. Mozarella pizza from Amici
13. Finishing a plate and loving it
14. Anything ethereal
15. Good mornings :)
16. Doing something nice for someone. (Nakanaks!)
17. Peace and quiet
18. Busyness
19. New people
20. Old friends
21. Good company!!!
22. Salon moments
23. Going to new places
24. Answering an exam you actually studied for!


Yeaaahhh... I am a sucker for good company. Pakshet. Talo ka jan e.

Independence

I don't want to write this down anymore, but I guess I should.

I'm starting to be independent again. Original goal, right? Always have been.


Birthday's coming up soon. Come one, come all!

:)

For a happy heart. Always do what you believe is right.

Night.

I'm such a loser because:

1. I love going out late. It doesnt matter if it's just a bit late (8-11PM), late (11PM-2AM), or reallt late (2AM-7PM). I just love going out late.
2. I love the smell cigarette smoke leaves on my shirt when I get home. Really really really love it.
3. Love being tipsy. But I can't stand beer. And I hate throwing up. You can't have the best of both worlds, I believe.
4. I dress up when not being dressed up is just fine. E.g. Uniform / Pambahay.
5. I am pacute. I am sneaky. I am sly snake.
6. And I am the loserest of all the losers BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY SAY NA ANG DAMING NAGKAKACRUSH SAKIN (ayihee.. self centered bitch. conceited. feeling. burn in hell) NO ONE'S MAKING A MOVE. (no one likes you enough to mooove!)

look closer. that's me.

Realities.

I just watched Sex and The City.


Then Bagong Buwan.

Gawd. Realities. Different fomr. Completely.

Don't I just live a charmed life. We do, don't we?


1. Girlsies, let's be friend's til we turn 50s.
2. Carlo Aquine is so cute/hot/cute/hot/cute. /hot.
3. Jericho is sexseh!


Bagong Buwan, though. VERY VERY VERY VERY GOOD ACTING. WALA AKONG MASABI. SMART AND HEARTBREAKING. Whoa.

NO MORE SMOKING PRAMIS!

NAGKAKAPIMPLE AKO SHET!

SDFHKHDHFKL.

Wishes.

"Be careful of what you wish for. You just might get it."
-Pussycat Dolls.

Who would've thought I'd quote something from a cheeky skanky all girl's pop group. I don't mind them by the way. They're kinda great sometimes.


You're better of not wishing for anything and just loving status quo.

"You find the best ones when you're not looking for it."


Just smile and let them be.

...

Birthday Plans

1. Galleria with Pauline. Have my navel pierced! Woohoo.. Sep 5?
2. August 30. Inuman / overnight blockada at my house.
3. Hair color + Cyma family dinner on August31!



August 30 grocery list:

1 case of red horse
1 case of san mig light
2 Matador
3 Gin Blue
1 ORGY
6 Infinite
1 Mudshake (AKIN LANG YAN)
2 Sprite
2 Coke
1 Mountain Dew
2 C2 Lemon

3 Pack ng Kool-aid strawberry
5 Pack ng Tang Orange


12 BAGS OF CHIPS
20 Pancit Canton

Lots of Barbecue


Budget 1.5 K


Invites:

nica, louie, jihan, teta, gel, xian, bombs, jomps, june?, migz, khan, ken?, dorae, earl, alpredd?, chep, camille?, dino?, terrance?, jaypabs?, mark?, hannah?, jin?, te?, joyce?, birch?, pao?, je?, jebs?, kuya than?, aiwa?, chino and mike?, tin?


TANGINA. MASKI CNO NA.

my true meaning of gwapo

SID VICIOUS
YOU MAKE ME

08.20

I did a photoshoot with Jas today.

My sisters are very pretty creatures. Actually we all are. The three of us. I've always suspected that they are prettier than I am actually. But I grew up very gracefully (well, kinda), and I turned into a pretty girl too in the end.

And now that I am, I have the peace of mind. I no longer need to be prettier than anyone. I no longer mind being in the back ground and no longer in the lime light. I want to create beauty using my own hands.

Here's the deal, if the pictures I posted are from flicker, then they are formal photographs. If they are from photobucket, then I just like them.

The makeup is the best, don't we all agreee?


...


BTW, people miss my blog. The blog leave is indefinite.

Maybe I'll just shock people. I'll be back before december.

I'm thinking about doing a Phiary instead of your typical blog.


Phiary = Photo diary. I mean this would most likely elevate my look at photography. Make me focus more.


...


Why am I doing photog?

Want to know why?

Ehem.

A mother's love for her child is so very great because she feels needed. Feeling needed is the ultimate high. We all need happiness and purpose. Yadayada *insert more philosophical shit here*.


The reason I do photog is because I don't think I have any other greater purpose than to be good at my work. That's a workaholic for you.


I'm very greatful for having a functional family. Grabe. I'm deranged. I like it because I know some people will be begging for a great family and all that shit. Grabe. Human creatures are so irrational.

But the ultimate loss is of one finally losing hope. Whoa. Philosophical emo.

Trvialities

Puerto gallera at 3am and I don't know what's up.

I reread past blog entries. As in those from season one. Helloo... I wasn't much happy then either.

Sigh happiness.

Where are you?

And why is this blog still a bit so emo?

...


Trvialities of life please...

The L-boys and their girlies are going to Club Manila East after the Puerto. Durd, Wifey, Lester, Loren, Jomps, Nica, Marbs, the Mika whatever girl I've never met, Jocas (promdate's cuz..yadayayadayada. *Insert distant and complicated relation here*), Victa (someone's exie... yadayada) ARE ALL GOING! I'm not going because:

1. I don't have the budget
2. I have tagaytay with fam.
3. FUCK IT! I'M NOT AN L-BOY GIRLY!!!


hsdjfasdhadsf

not that I want to be an L-boy girl... helloo!??! I just like being around people. New one. YOU CAN MAKE ME NOT WEAR A BIKINI, YOU KNOW. But doesn't it just seem so fun?? Beer, boys, new people and a fucking pool(in more than one ways)!?!?!!


But don't get this wrong and please please please don't take this hypocritically. I like being single. I really really really don't want a boyfriend. YES! FOR REAL! I mean, I want a guy... a boytoy perhaps, but not a real BF. I mean, I knnooow I'm living in a world of my own infatuation, but isn't love just some sucky game which I just prolly lost at.


It sucks being a girl. Pag hindi ka nagserioso, hindi ka seseryosihin. Duh. Modernity's just one sucky cycle that seems not to work. Emotions, attractions, and coincidences are just all pretty shitty.



Sigh. Life.

Excuse me, I'll just go take pictures now.

...

Miscellaneous Phiary

God is sooo cool.


heart.

Pictionary

happy. for real na yan! promise! haha.

...


I am now 88 pounds. Grabe. The heaviest I've been since the day I started losing weight. And as we all know, my happiness is relatively proportion to my weight. So just guess how so much better I'm doing.


Of course I keep on telling myself I'm so much better.


I'm a whole person.


I've decided to become a little bit selfish again. Take care of yourself. Guys can take care of themselves, and I need to help myself again. It's a combination of Macci 2005 and Macci 2008. What do you know, ayt?


Little stuff about my day?

I've been doing Photogs. Learning. Experimenting. All that shit. I mean, what else is there to do, right?


Don't sweat the small stuff. Life will start at 23. 22? I don't know. Just keep on living.


This, btw, is the healthiest I've been too. I mean if I stop smoking this would so very much be despite the drinking. Long sleeping hours. Lots of food.

Memorable moments of my life:

1. Boracay with my family
2. Lola Terry
3. Laguna with my girls
4. Hours before I lost my FAVORITE Kenneth Cole watch
5. One late evening...
6. After I hurled a ceramic bracelet on the floor of my room...
7. Apple, apple, apple kiss
8. When I introduced bry and rambi to my mom and dad
9. Sobs tree
10. Boracay bonding with my sisters while playing cards
11. When I woke up one day and realized my confidence
12. The Lally shit years
13. Writing "Teresita"
14. ........

[I have migraine. To edit soon.]

Thing's I've Learned in College

1. Meanness is so Passe.
2. It's ok to drink as long as you don't get drunk.
3. Your passion and your ego are your best assets
4. If you want to kiss a guy, go for it. As long as you're pretty, it works.
5. We are all capable of human emotions, but guys are different from girls.


...

50% of the world population makes less than 100php in a day.


...

Everything in the world is overrated. Love, success, sex, alcohol... etc etc. This is the reason why people succumb and are disappointed by false hoped.

The only thing underrated is Philosophy. But it's better that way, because if you give it the attention it always deserved, humanity will be in such a depressing state.

The only properly rated matter is Psychology. If everyone is rational and would start thinkng of other people, better yet, the betterness of the great majority, the world will be a better place. However, we are set by nature to survive, even if that means in dispense of others.

...

Life is like a summer fling. It ends. You just have to savor every moment of it and keep yourself happy. And mahalaga ay ang ngayon. The past is past, the future will happen soon.. pero now is now. :)

Things not to be thankful for


1. I do not have a date
2. I stay home 1/3 of fridays and saturday nights
3. The world and life itself is weird.
1. I do not have a boyfriend / I just lost a boyfriend / Im nor over my exboyfriend

Thinsg to be thankful for:
1. I have a great family who loves me
2. I have great friends who loves me
3. I love myself
4. I have everything I need
5. I have a new camera bag
6. I have a bit of a lovelife
7. Lot's of guys have crushes on me which s a big deal because I was an ugly duckling. Huwahahahaha!
8. I drink and it's cool
9. Im a great person
10. I'm talented
11. I'm smart
12. I can make things work
13. I'm charming
14. I know how to love people unromantically
15. I'm young
16. I have a colorful life
17. I have a 400D
18. I have a great great wardrobe
19. I have a great makeup collection
20. I know how to fix myself up
21. I love my girls
22. I love my boys
23. I love my bestfriends
24. I love my sisters
25. I love my mom
26. I love my dad
27. The small world I live in finds me cool
28. I have clean toes right now
29. I have my dad's soul in me. Which rocks because he's my idol.
30. I don't have classes tomorrow.
31. I'm kinda broke, but I barely care
32. There's so much to be thankful for



I want other people to be happy too.

Maybe all this negativity and ranting is a plead for someone to save me. But not just anyone.

Otherwise, I'll just save myself.

I hate yous.

All of yous.


I don't want to be in a situation like this anymore.

I hate this.

I AM FUCKING DISGUSTED OF YOU!
ALL OF YOU.


And you? Leave me alone. Do I have to be the first one to go? Do I have to tire you first? You got what you wanted, why do you have to do this?

Fuck you.

I drink. I smoke. I spend too much.

I no longer slut around. (Hooray to me.)

Im normal.

I don't need help. I'm just like your average 18 year old turning 19 in a month or so.



I'm drifting away, intentionally. I am a mean bitch who deserves no one. I'm getting good at leaving people behind. Except for THAT ONE. That single one. I'm getting better though. Pero who are these people compared to you?

We had a year and eleven months and 2 days dear, and I'm still not completely over you. You went after me for a year and six days. I still have it going, I know. I'm on a roll.



I spent my best days with you, as sad as that seems. Because you were there, and because it was the right time to be happy. It just wasn't the right time for something so serious. I've got the rest of my life infront of me and someone will come along. Will there be a right time?


Will I ever be friends with you? I want to, for formality's sake. But it's not the right time right now. Maybe in the future. Or maybe there's no right time.

You were wonderful.

But it just shattered.


I still can't get over the fact that you replaced me in less than 60 days. And that you lied. And that you hurt me. That's what hurt the most you know. Not the losing you part. The fact that you replaced me in less than 60 days. You had the guts to lie to my face pa so many times.

It's been six months and I've never let the anger seep through. Well here goes.


Fuck you. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck you for hurting me.

Call me unfair, call me whatever you wish.

Fuck you.

The Philosophy Called Modernity

Modernity means letting media sway our judgement and standards.

There is no such thing as reality.

The more you think about your philosophy and purpose in life the more emotional you get.

They said Heath Ledger overdosed on drugs because he brought the character of Joker with him. Too much internalizing of the character.

People.


People are weird, seriously. Humanbeings are wired to act according to how they feel, not to how they think, which is very weird since we are gifted with that nasty curse called reason.

Emotions are the greatest fuckers of all time. They fuck everything in the way. They are the basis of everything. Happiness and agony. As Ma'am Mortel says, "Acceptance and rejection are the root of it all."


Whatever right?

I will not publicize my blog until I've learned to write happily again. Check the season one blog, I was happy then.


Am I happy now?

Honestly, I don't know.

Maybe I've never been actually happy. Maybe I've spent all my life stressing myself out because I'm always thinking of the things I'm missing, not of what I have.

Oh my God, there we go.. the answer to everything I'm cussing about.

Fuck. Practice what you preach, sweetheart.


EPAL YOU BLOG!

Beauty is only half of how you look like.

It's in how you move, talk, stand and think.

Life = You find the best when you're not looking.

I hate this year. I'm looking forward 2010.

Secrets

I've been drinking for the past three nights, including this one. Not that anyone cares. Well, not anymore.

And besides, I can handle it.

I don't want to tell the world that I'm motherfucking drinking really, because it feels like I'm showing off. Woopeedoo... I'm drinking. So cool of me (Sarcastic). See, I'm still not used to it. Even if I spent my summer drinking and I have no problems with alcohol and shit, I'm still not used to it. I miss Nica. I never get to talk to her anymore. Not much to talk about. I love you. I really do. I just don't know what to do anymore. And if by a mere twist of fate you get to read this, then that just means we have to talk. If you don't then we just let it fade away. Realistically speaking, sometimes we just need time. Time does not heal EVERYTHING, but this my possibly just be one of those things that time heals, along with the others.
No, dearies, I'm not exclusively dating anyone right now. Err, correction, IM NOT FUCKING DATING ANYONE RIGHT NOW. Agh. I don't know. Maybe I don't know enough people. Maybe I super don't look approachable. The heck. I know I'm pretty. I'm not even supposed to say that out loud because pretty people don't do that.

Maybe, just like drinking, I'm not used to being pretty.



Blue means I want to know you better. Maybe I do need to know you more. :) Maybe. If I'm just an actual social creature instead of the pretentious exclusive bitch that I am, maybe we'll get to actually talk.



I'm not over my phobia. The future. How do you fix that? This is currently making me pessimistic, and I'm scared to death that this might suck.

The fuck. Fuck pessimism, fuck fear.


Go get a life, sweetheart. Do your plates again. Do something with your time. Relaxing isn't relaxing you as much as working does.


I have secrets. Juicy ones. Indulge?

Semi-secret blog

Okay. First of all. The thing is, I still blog.

But I don't think the world will be able to read this now, because it's practically hidden. It's properly concealed under a statement of blog leave.


Things I found out recently:

1. The best jeans are at Kamiseta. They have XXS, which is perfect for me... and they're jeans are pretty. Plus, when they say lowrise, they mean low-rise. The zipper says it all. Snuggest pair I've ever owned.

2. I found the perfect blushes at Penshoppe for Php169. I mean, it can be bad for my skin, but whatevs, right?

3. I semi-vow not to wear nail polish anymore. I'm intimidating the way I am already. I need to top scaring people. I know it's so FC and trying hard, trying to know people well.. but it's just something you have to learn. I mean, I am a wallflower... REALLY!?!?!? I get all giddy when new people come around, but I'm so palpak at saying Hi!

4. I'm not much of a drinker. I mean, I am still a girl. But here's a secret: Berri Orange + Gin + Cubes of ice = A DISCRETE ROCKING ALCOHOL DRINK! Perfection.

5. I miss studying. Prelims tomorrow, I'm studying ad prac. Woohoo! Socios's free, though. Hooray for us.

6. I HAVE A HUGE GUCCI BAG WHOM I NOW VOW AS A FAVORITE! My lola sent it, and I doubted it's authencity for a while. But what the heck! It's amazingly pretty! Love love love it!




Dear readers who found this entries,

Please don't tell me that you read. Nacoconscious and naprepressure ako.

Please respect that.

Beggingly yours,
Macci.

Dear everyones,

You saved me.

Truly yours.


...

Swabe lang, sweetheart.

musts

Stuff to find:

silver princess headband
red body shop lipbalm/gloss


Stuff to buy:
unfancy shirts
jeans?
camera bag and tripod
penshoppe blush


Stuff to do:
PD pizza box
Art App
Ad Des
Photo

Pre-retreat

When you don't say something the truer it is.

Hurt, happiness, yadayadayada...

Let how you react tell the world, really.

Dont stress yourself on EXPRESSING yourself.


....


I love Hey Jude.

Grabe. I'M SMILING. HAHAHAHA.

Sana may song pa sa world that makes me feel the same. :)

I love you, sweetheart.

(mejo naiyak ako watching that.)

A VERY SPECIAL LOVE

FEEL GOOD MOVIES ROCK!

Especially when it's tagalog!

And especially if it's cheesy and unrealistic.

And especially when the official movie poster looks so photoshoped almost unprofessionally!


HUWAHAHAHAHAH!

For the sake of me and all my block peers

PRO Duties.

Ambassador of Goodwill mode:


Photography Prelim Requirement:

1. Human Subject
*Against the light
*Without flash (Silhouette)

2. Human Subject with Flash
(Meter the background)
(Fill-in flash) (Smaller aperture)

3. Low key (light) *Any subject

4. High key

5. Landscape/ Cityscape/ Seascape
*15 mins Before or after sunset or sunrise.

6. Candle light/ light by fire/ similar small light source
(without flush) ((DUH!))

7. Any night scene shot (without flash)

8. Subject lighted with flash light / led light

9. Light sculpture

10. Structure painted with flash
(Evening Shot) ((Bulb setting?))

11. Double exposure
*Bulb setting

12. Shoot sunbj using rear function of flash ((WHATEVER FUCK THAT MEANS))
(Rim lighted subject) ((WHATEVER FUCK THAT MEANS PART 2))


Print the photos, 4R. Submit on 2nd week of September.

dfkghsfjgfhashj

Nasa compp shop ako ngayon.
Hahahha.

Philosophy.

Maybe.. it's all about philosophical thinking.

I Cant Find This And It's Depressing Me

I NEED THIS SONG!


...


This one is equally amusing...



Love the previous one better, though.

Here's a fact I know very well, but can't seem to apply:

You get work done 200% more efficient and 300% faster if you keep your ym signed out.

....


I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BLOG ANYMORE. CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY.


BULLSHIT!

walang pasok

stuff to do:

1. Clean My Room.
2. Finish Ad Design Web shit (dont be such a perfectionist!)
3. Finish Packaging Design Digital Layout
4. Paint PD on Illus B

on another note

5. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE
6. Charge Camera Battery
7. Watch Dark Knight




And since we're all adults here:
"Oo na, walang pasok. Edi magsex kayo. Pakshet."
to whom it may concern,

pakyuness

-anonymous

Gig Hangover.

FIRST OF ALL: Tag if the Music Box is killing you. Tell me if you A. want me to change the collection B. Want me to make it just stop playing C. Want me to just remove it because no one like listening to it anyway.

...


6am and I didnt want to blog earlier, but since there's nothing else to do but have breakfast HERE I GO AGAIN!

do you know that i love you?


Oh yeah, verrryy nice gig the other night. Thanks you Tita Che for all the freestuff. I know you're not reading my blog, none of your sons do.. so what the heck, right?

Anyway, it made my week. Or actually ruined it because I didnt get any work done. Which is unfair because I'm blaming the gig when it's all COMPLETELY my fault anyway. Starstudded sa it was, I only post pics I like. Not pics of people I LIKE.

WTF.







oh yeah, this is My Dad, The Rockstar!!






Had a really fun night. I want more foooood!

Kublai's should really buy my menu from me. What the, I'll actually give it for free if they want it.


<3

Detroit Rock City

I remember watching this wayyy wayy back. REwatching it is just ectremely nostalgic.

Sigh. Why do they have to grow up? :( THEY WERE ALL SO SEXY IN THEIR OWN WAYS BACK THEN. Sigh.

THIS HAS A HUGE IMPACT ON MY LIFE. I dare not explain why.

Statistics

I have...


3 Cellphones
2 Sim cards (Globe and Sun)
9 Computers all over the house
15 Minutes average spent on watching tv in a day
240 Minutes average spent on being online in a day

3 Bestfriends
1 Best guy friend (Bry)
1 Ultimate bestfriend of all time (Pau)
8 Years of friendship with my ultimate bestfriend
4 Core Ultimates <3

1 Biological dad
2 Social Dads (Bombs and Mackyboy)
1 Biological Mom
2 Sisters
3 Housepets (exclusive of Jasmine)

3 Versions of this blog. (macciseasonone.blogspot, macciorig.blogspot)
? Countless blogs ever
1 Friendster account EVER

9 Subjects
27 Units
14 School Years Completed

6903 Days I've actually lived. Yup. Exactly.

a 'new' approach to blogging

It's 3:21 am and I just read from Reader's Digest about the benefits of sleep. To pretty much sum it up, the article states that sleep will make me a better, smarter, prettier, and way fun-ner person.

3:24am. I could've been on my way to school right now, and five hours from now, on a boat to one of the "pretties" islands in the Philippines. But well, LTS is moved next week, so I guess I just have to suck it up. I mean, I wasnt ready anyhows. No clothes, no nothing.

3:27am and Earl, Chep, and Khan are online. The men of my lives. Well, some of the few. These guys are heaven-sent. :) I heart yous.

3:27am I really do love Photog. Seriously. I posted my takes online and they can be viewed here: my flickr.

3:29am If you must know, things have been dandy for me these days.


Enough of the time shit. Ive been spending time doing plates. I mean what else is there to do? Life has been a pleasurable and slightly altering routine. Routines kill. Still.

Im supposed to go with Bry and feed the poor a little later, but he hasnt confirmed yet. We would love that, us two. The philantrophist in my body will finally get to do his/her work.

On Friday, Louie and Chep might hang about her in the am. Coffee, plates and company. Not bad.

I have plates to do, lots. Nica and Jihan are facing the same dilemma. The only difference is, they've started theirs, and I've nothing yet. Oh well.


I lost my retainers, and I have to pay the devastating amount of 6000Php to get myself a new pair. This sucks. My teeth are getting worse and I just lost 6k. Ampf.

Im doing the "Potential Move" on this guy I've known since forever. Hmmm. Hope he doesnt read my blog. He'll know himself when he reads this. Besides no one knows about the "Potential Move" aside from a selected few anyways.


3:36am I think I'm getting a bit sleepy already. Perhaps. My room's a mess and Id rather sleep downstairs than here. Im not using my laptop because it's in the verge of a breakdowna and I dont wanna risk it.

And this blog post is still insigificant.

On the other hand, below is an image defining how girls are. Stalkers.

Goodnight. Til next time readers.

Plate

Wala pa ko nagagaw sa fuckaging plate. My plan is to do it in powerpoint na, Then I make my compre. I mean powerpoing isnt supposed to be that hard, but compre making beats the shit out of me.

Whatevers.

Flickr.

I am now a flickr girl.

I've unearthed this from old takes. Niiiicee.

play of shadows

Thoughts

1. Why do we get sick when rained / drizzled on?

2. I have to make an article. Write about what you know. Write about: Insomnia, Depression, CFAD. Insomnias relation to depression of CFAD Students. (That sucks) Write about Patriotism? Write about Stress? Write about.... suggetions please. This is a week overdue already.

3. It's 5pm and I have work to do.

4. "Scar Tissue" and "Can't Stop" by Red Hot Chilli Peppers. AHLAVET. Imeem's 30 sec preview suck sometimes.

5. I'm usually home on Saturday night. That sucks. Well, life of the non-party girl.

6. We have to go to Divi.

7. I have to clean my nails.

8. Stretch stretch stretch. Breathe.

One Love

out of the 192 photos from the ad design photobooth.. only 15 made it.

San ko kaya to mga ipaglalalagay. Ang super cute e.


I heart yous.