Friday, October 31, 2008


Currently nursing the last and worst hang over of the season.

The next one's different. We know it.

It's safe to say, but there's no reason to say it, but here I go: I'm happy today.


Sunday, October 26, 2008


Another one of Macci's Utterly Biased Version of
(not just physically, but mentally)

1. Wakeup at 7:12am when your class starts at 7am
2. Get a proper 7-10 hour sleep. Not less than 7 ot more than 10.. both of which makes you feel all groggy and unpretty
3. Apply makeup
4. Learn that you have a good breakfast downstairs. Or perhaps a good day ahead of you.
5. Accidentally get your period while you were asleep. (YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO WAKE UP NOW)
6. Find a foreign creature on bed with you (ex: Chabbo, an insect, a reptile, a male humanbeing)
7. Have a broken heater. Or maybe a new shampoo!
8. Don't press the snooze button!
9. Sudden surge of sunlight
10. Annoying knock on the door.


Because I am living in an artist's community, I don't think I'll ever find out what a Republican is? And what's the other one again... a Democrat/ic?


One more week of semestral break... and miraculously, my birthday box did not arrive. I know, it's already two months late. The overseas grand-folks said it takes 30-days delivering period, BUT HOW COME IT'S NEVER ARRIVED EVER?


I am listening to Paramore. Weird because I am, like, a year late on EVERY Music trend. Which, you know, doesn't matter.. because music interests are extremely subjective.


I sound so much smarter because I just read Time Magazine. Oh, and they featured this Filipina scientist who loves shrimps so much that she would like help in saving tha mangroves to save the shrimps. Go figure. All that actually matters is that she's a Filipina.

Uhhuh. That's a smart me for you.


The past and the future just as much as each other... but nothing beats the present. Now is now. Everything else is just good on paper.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I dont play games.

What are the chances of me getting addicted to valiums?

Maybe thats why God gave me friends who dont have them.

Talk is cheap.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Talk is cheap.

Imma Shades Now.

My heart is beating so fast I can feel it throbbing everywhere. The back of my ears, my ankles, my chest, my fingertips.


No moment can ever be duplicated.

And no great thoughts you formulate on the jeep-ride home will sound just as you wanted it when you blog about it.

It's just nice to know that this is it. And that the ideas you keep on your head will actually be what you'll get. LOA regulations.

Sometimes I wish I can give you guys something worth reading. Haha.


All in all our relationship with people aren't supposed to be complicated. Their are expectations and growth whatever whatever etc etc.

THEN THERE'S EMOTION. Which pretty much messes up everything, especially our hearts and head.

We always run the risk of hurting and being hurt.

TANGINA MO. ANG EMO MO. Nakain na ng sembreak utak nating mga kabataan kaya emo na tayo.


No. I do not have thoughts worth sharing right now.


Yan. Masasayang oras natin parepareho!

Ano school mo?

Magkano pamasahe mo araw araw?
20php plus 15 php x2. un

Ano course mo?

Nung first day of classes, pumasok ka ba?

Nakatapak ka na ba sa library?
oo. para magmakeup. nung 1st year

Nawala ka na ba sa library?
uh... hello. no.

May tambayan ka na ba sa University mo?
pav 2-5. Pangit sa pav1, madilim and hindi friendly.

Memoryado mo na lahat ng sulok ng school mo?
uhh. no.

Binaha ka na ba?

May terror teacher?
PE. Table tennis.

May baklang teacher?
OO. Madami. Iba't ibang version.

May baliw na teacher?

May menopause/andropause teacher?
???? not sure.

1st day of classes, ano hinanap mo?
naghanap ng friend and ng gwapo.

Aircon ba room niyo?
We're rich thankyou very much.

Malamig naman ba?
Depende sa room at upuan mo.

Ano pangalan ng section mo?

May epal ba sa section mo?
C teresa ng.

Ikaw lang ba magulo sa class mo?

May skolar ka bang kaibigan at kaklase?
si mike delicious pasites.

May pinagtitripan ka sa klase mo?

May natripan ka ba sa klase mo?

May maganda ba sa College mo?

madami kami. wahahahha. kala mo hindi ako hihirit noh! huwahahah.

Tumakbo ka sa student council?
hindi. c nica pinipilit ko magpresident

Officer ka ba ng class mo?

Ano fave subject mo?
Marriage and Family.

Ano worst subject mo?
um... O_o logic

Nag cut ka na ba?

Nalate ka na ba?
ay hinde.

Kumakain ka ba sa mga karinderya?

Sumakit naman ba tiyan mo?

Ilang oras klase mo?
basta madami.

Miss mo na ba High school?
hindi. pangit st.paul university quezoncity e

Ano tawag sa building mo?
beato lurve

Nagpapasa ka ba ng assignment?

May nakaaway ka na ba?
oo c jihan. ayoko sa muslim.

jokes are halfmeant. isipin mo kung aling half dun ung meant. WAHAHHAHAHAH!
<3 <3 <3 lots of love.

San ka mas close sa mga kaklase mo, babae o lalake?
boys. kasi malandi ako. JOKE. fine hindi joke. pero sa girls ako mas close.

May pakner ka na ba?

Tambay ka ba ng CR kapag walang teacher?
maski meron, deary.

Napasok mo na lahat ng kasulok sulukan ng University mo?

Last, masaya ka ba sa mga nangyayari nitong 1ast sem mo?
tama lang. oo, i guess. puta, pake mo.


Conclusion: I curse like a guy. fuckness.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


I'm at Nica's house. It's gonna be a busy week.


Thoughts and insights:

Sex and the City still rocks. I miss everyone. I WANNA DRESS UP AGAIN!

Sunday, October 19, 2008


I can't sleep again.

Trust me, I tried. I even brought the laptop down, because I was considering the possiblity that the laptop is the reason why I don't get to sleep. Something in Reader's Digest said that the screen actually activates our mind therefore deeming sleep difficult. Whatever.

And because I am now a Proactive person (as described by 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey. Fuck off! Leave me alone!), I will be taking sleeping pills / aides every other day for a month or two UNTIL I GET THE SLEEPING RIGHT!

It's that or I go to a shrink!


Ans since I'm awake anyway, might as well as attempt to humour you guys.

Here is the very uninteresting magazine general review by yours truly according to my biased and merciless opinion.

Candy Magazine - Bullshit. Everything there is not real in the first place. Fashion sucks. Sucky writing too. General advices though... I thought they would work back then. VERY LIGHT READING. Layout's usually okay though.
Rating: ***

Meg - Worse version of Candy Mag in all aspects
Rating: *

Seventeen Magazine - Better older version of Candymag
Rating: *** and a half*

Chalk - Trendier-ish version of Seventee, but very much less informative. Vanity.
Rating: *** and a quarter*

Preview - Fashioable. Classy. Loved the layout. Getting boring though.
Rating: ****

MEGA - Preview only not as good. But it's okay.
Rating: *** and three quarters*

SugarSugar- bullshit. But I love whit layout. Worse version of chalk. Love that it's NEW though.
Rating: ***

Vogue - too Fashiony. Totally unapplicable. But its the mag of all time, and there must be credit for that. And good writing.
Rating: *** and another * for being the magazine of all time. = ****

Cosmopolitan - BAD BAD FASHION. And it's all about pleasing your man. Amusing though.
Rating: *** and a half*

Marie Claire - The best of Women magazine. Substantial. Good layout. Worth every penny.
Rating: **** and a half*

Allure - True to its form. Beauty. Good writing too. But repeats itself.
Rating: **** and three quarters*

Rogue - CLASSY. SUBSTANTIAL. NICE LAYOUT. LOCAL. VERY UNISEX. Lacks more content, but I can deal with that because the pages are always so crisp. ARTSY!
Rating: *****

Nylon - It's very trendy. Lacks content. But more or less its okay
Rating: *** and a half*

FHM - Very amusing. Nice layout. Too boyish though.. which is how it intended itself to be in the first place
Rating: ****

Maxim - Not as good version of FHM, but its actually ok. Not enough content though.
Rating: *** and a half*

Playboy - Never read. But its been told to be too trashy.
Rating: ** and a half*

Roam - Just one issue out. Writing and layout sucks. Pretty pics. Nice page. But really unconvincing writing.
Rating: **

Digital Photographer - Infromative. Clean. It's not its fault I can't relate sometimes. Success in objectives.
Rating: ****

Readers Digest - better lighter version of time. More reader friendly.
Rating: ****

Time Magazine - too political. I'm not THAT smart, I'm sorry to say.
Rating: **


I must have bored you. Sorry, got so much time. I'm waiting for Sex and the City to load. And I do love magazines, see.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sex and the City

It's 5:09am, and when I write, I have Carrie Bradshaw's voice reading my lines in my head!

Then, life becomes so cosmopolitan for me.

SO here's a lowdown of the previous week. I go out every single day, I don't know how I get to have money... I dressed up once, and the rest of the time, I'm a jeans and shirt girls.. with chucks if I'm in a slightly dress-up mood.

Why the sudden disinterest in fashion?

Fashion 2008 sucks. It's not fun anymore. I'm better off wearing the comfy clothes that does nothing for my confidence than the fancy ones that does nothing for my confidence either because they are too "pop". Well, good thing it actually converted my wardrobe selection younger.

I am NOT trying to save up on clothes either, most of the stuff are just not worth my time or money.. besides thet comfiest heels on earth (Cyprus Crocs in Bronze size 6. Do not judge me because I don't judge you. SO FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE SUCKERS!).

Okay, Carrie Bradshaw does not curse in my head. That was me all along, reading outloud because that is exactly how I feel at the moment.


It's now 5:14. Maybe I should get breakfast then sleep.

Dear friends

Sa mga kaibigan ko na ninakawan ko ng ipit (lalo na ung more than once)

e.g. Louie (ng sobra), June, Nici, Jihan, Pido, Marina(?), Dad(?), Te, Tin, Mil(?), Pauline, atbp.

I AM SO SORRY. Di ko na cia maisosoli sainyo. Pero sana mapahiram nio pa din ako ng hindi nasisira mga pagkakaibigan natin.

I love yous.

Long hair na ko.


My head hurts. Anyway, I've been watching Sex and the City. You know how every academic break is entitled to one or two television series, right? No matter how old school or hot new.. yeah, that.

(Thanks to, sembreak salvation.)

Well, it's extremely empowering to women. Kinda. Ugh, whatever. They make sex sound like so recreational. And they make cities sound like some modernized and (itsybitsy) civilized pigpen where dating is a breeze. Where love is shallow and coincidental.

Men are driven by sexual urges and women are driven by emotions. That's a life lesson for you. But it's not exactly true-true... but....


I've been having signature coffee everyday of the week. Or half of a signature coffee everyday of the week, since I can't get to finish them due to other circumstances I have to attend to (e.g. going home).


I'm formatting my laptop on tuesday. Goodbye pictures. GEL, WILL YOU PLEASE GO ONLINE!

Oh and btw, my sleeping pattern is screwed. Just like always. I sleep at 5am.. wakeup at 10am.. watch an S&tC episode and go back to sleep without breakfast.. wakeup at 4, leave then be back home before 12. That's sembreak of the truly single for you.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


It's at 6:26am that the world is actually asleep. No one's online anymore and the solitariness is bearable. They didnt leave you. They just had to rest. Besides, they'll all be awake at 11pm later.

Girl Day Plans

Be as shallow and maarte as you want to be.

1. Indulge in Fashion Magazines
2. Prep self up.
3. Dress up. Wear a skirt. Or shorts.
4. Don't be afraid to wear makeup for a while. I know you love makeup, but they don't... so you compromise yourself for them.
5. Don't wear the same bangles, watch and earrings you wear every single day.
6. Don't say bad words.
7. Watch sex and the city, E!, and chick flicks.
8. PINK.
9. Don't wear a backpack.
10. Use perfume.

Seriously, I very obviously try not to be as girly as I want to be lest being called maarte. It's inevitable though. Because I really actually am maarte by heart. I talk too much because I've got lots on my mind and I want it out. I want to justify everything. I curse a lot. I give in to peer pressure. I can be tad too nice or tad too bitchy. As much as I aim to be mature, I'm still a kid. I am so fucking imperfect.

And of course I'm insecure. Duh duh duh! Who isn't?

Thiiiss feels so nice.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Must Buy

Rogue October
Sleeping pills
Comfiest heels in the universe

Back issues


Ang hirap ng ganto. Promise. IIYAK NA KO!


91 pounds na ko. wow. sana wag ako malungkot.. pumapayat ako pag sad.

To the only man
who has ever brought
thunder and lightning
and rainbows
into my life.
It happens once
and when it does,
it's forever.
To my one and only love.
with all my heart,
beloved Popeye.
I love you


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Once someone stops respecting you, you don't need them in your life.
Sembreak na.


Agh. Btw, 1 goal down. I'm finally officially 90 pounds. FOR REAL WALANG DAYA!



5 hours later, I'm 89 again. Fuck.

Ang sarap sigurong hindi mag-isip.

Kelan kaya dadating yung araw na titigil na ko sa panggugulo sa utak ko at TALAGANG MAGRERELAX? Hindi magiisip ng problema or ng future? Ng what-if's and why's?


BTW. Ang sarap ng Yellow Cab Cheese 10" Php250. Lalo na pag nagshashare ka.

Maski walang kashare masarap actually.

Pero mas masarap talaga pag wala ka sa bahay.




New header.

"It's what I see that matters."

...umm, no explanation. Really. It just sounds good. Maybe I'll change that soon.. who knows.


We are all miserably unaware that we suffer the same malady.

Monotonous life.

I know, okay. We just want things to be new. There's that fresh cold whiff of lovely air when new things happen. Good ones.

Can we expect life to be fair and exciting? There are pleasant and tragic surprises waiting for us. And sometimes, there aren't. Quit waiting.


It's Season ?

? being "God knows what"

We can't countem. As much as we try. How do we know if they are countable in the first place, because sometimes, they aren't. They are better left alone.

Contrary to popular beliefs, theere never was a season 2. Or a season 1.

It just drags on day by day by day.

Or maybe there actually is.

OH MY GOD. I've got a rationale: It's just how we see it.

I go home and the thin film of the country's stench envelopes my skin. It is an aroma of vices, of smoke and alcohol and saliva and pot. Oh, and pollution.

I wanted to get away from the dark ages. And the night life is far from the dark ages. It is actually a collection of glow-in-the-dark neon rainbow colours. It's the perfect redemption. But yes, it's still in the dark. Dim, more like it. Metro Manila as lit by lights hanging on the post like a crucified man.

In the little social biosphere that I live in, after-sex does not mean post the carnal act. It does not mean waking up at 7am with a man beside you. It can merely be defined as the state of yourself where your shirt is more than 3 sizes too big for you, your hair is messed up, and your lipstick is naturally smudged off.

And I bring my friend home, after-sexed. Very. Drunk.

Another friend told me: "Die fast, live young".

Hilarious. Something like that you can not just make up on your own. He really did say that.

What is this infatuation for the non-reality called glamour? Ah, yes. The short-lived, exclusive, luxurious, and unrewarding vision called glamour.

This non-reality lead people to indulge in irrational pleasures and make improper decisions. Life is not a fairytale, my friend. Yes, you, my after-sexed friend. Wake up and smell the stench of Manila. Of vommit.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Day 14

2 weeks, 12 hours ago, I was at the carpeted hotel room floor, with the couch cover as a blanket, laptops and papers and cali's and mudshakes strewn all over the floor, and singing happy birthday with a bunch of ultra-stressedout girls.


Nica: Ito ung pruweba na masaya tayo
Ji: Oo nga. Pag 30 years old na tayo tas may nagsabi na ang lungkot ko, papakita ko to. Tas sasabihin ko, 'Masaya kaya kami nung 19. Yan o. Tigna mo o. O. O!"


I'm waiting for the October issue of Rogue Magazing and I'm down on my kneew praying that it wont be anything im vaguely interested about. Like food for example. Or sports. Eeek.

The reason I like Rogue Magazine actually is bacause it has great contributors. Unlike most magazines, the articles are actually art in themselves. Double that up with great layouts and photographs, quality glossy paper, and that crisp magazine scent that I always need to keep me reading. Uhhuh uhhuh.


Best ideas come around in the morning. When you just wokeup. And you look messy and groggy and well, very human.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Where din my stripes go?

"Kaya hindi mo alam kung ano gusto mo.. kasi, in the first place, lahat gusto mo."



"For men, dealing with hair does not require as complicated and taxing a daily ritual as that of their female counterparts. For most, it merely involves a few elementary steps.

Step1: Wake up
Step2: Get into shower and shmpoo
Step3: Toweldry or for the lazy ones--airdry
Step4: Apply clay/wax/whatever styling products lay conveniently on the sink
Step5: Style hair like you just have woken up

-The Naturalist Pg.130



The horror.

Friday, October 10, 2008

it's official. i love parties. and all those that goes with it.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


Before I finally give up on the internet and take a long shower instead, I'm going to blog.



Who blogs about their day? Like ever? I mean, I don't. Yesterday was perfect though. Extremely happy. Today is fine, I guess. Well, it's nice too. Maybe I should count the reasons.


I told teta dearest that I'm going to school at/before seven. Which ofcourse, knowing me, never happens. So I got to the gallery at 8:30. MY PICTURE IS HANGING ON THE WALL! AND I CANT HIDE THE FACT THAT ITS ME! Well, hooray!, I know. But ugh. Having your picture on the wall means its vulnerable to criticism. Which matters to me, because I do not have too strong a personality to accept that.

So anyway, we rocked (ish) the AdPrac reporting on the Automated Voting System Advocacy Campaign for COMELEC.

I can't remember what happened next but I can remember painting kuya model of LP class in a really rich dark brown hue and he looks so aetha-ish. ETHNIC! ETHNIC! That tone! You know what I mean, girlsies.

Then Te says she's leaving. Which totally destroyed my world. I can not lose another sunshine! But atleast they're holding hands....dsfjkshfkjahd


Everyone went straight to Jomp's. Did photog plates. Really lovely McDo breakfast. I SLEPT SUPER SUPER SUPER SOUNDLY! GRABE! ANG SARAP MATULOG SA RETIRO.

Went to school. Theo exams. 90%! Wohooo!

Everyone went their own way. I bought and paid for everyone's materials. You all owe me 15Php.

Had the wonderful sepia-filtered late afternoon with everyone. Everyone had great pictures!

BK. Swore I'll play billiards soon. Probably this sembreak.

Went home. Had great chat with my mom.

Got so bored. Blogged.


Everything will have eyes soon

Saturday, October 4, 2008


Doing Lines

Time out of mind + Jack of speed + Slang of ages

Children we have it right here
Its the light in my eyes
Its perfection and grace
Its the smile on my fae

Tonight when I chase the dragon
The water may change to cherry wine
And the silver will turn to gold
Time out of mind

Just by chance you crossed the diamond with the pearl
You turned it on the world
Thats when you turned the world around
On the hill the stuff was laced with kerosene
But yours was kitchen-clean
Everyone stopped to stare at your Technicolor motor-home

Katy tried
I was halfway crucified
I was on the other side of tomorrow

Thursday, October 2, 2008


The Infamous Donatella Versace, the queen of couture...

And ^that^, my lovely friends, is the reason why I'll never get anything done besides my teeth (because, I already have and it proved to be the best decision evah).


On the other notes, Guil had all his acads work done, which makes me feel so left out, even if people are progressing the same pace as I am. It's just that, if someone can do it, then why can't I?

It's not like I've got lots of things to do... so no excuses, ayt?


On the Emo-er side of life, BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN! I think it might be just a simple no-fuzz case of PMS... either way, when stuff like this happens, I just want to bum with people, friends or non-friends, whichever, and just drink.


No pressure, though.

I can blame me, but what the heck?


Sigh. Swooners. They know their way around, don't they?

Whatever. I hate you.


I'm off to work dears. PFFFFF!

Attempt #1

It's been a while since I've written anything of importance or interest to anybody aside from myself, and I still don't think I am about to do that right now, but it's worth a try.

Ehem ehem.


Fine, I'm fooling (ish) myself into believing that I am actually evolving as a better person. Due to boredom (which is the patriot of pretty much everything), there's nothing much to do but fix yourself up every once in a while. Emotionally. Mentally. Uh huh.. whatever.



....Because I can't think of anything anymore, I'm decluttering my blog as of this october.

Oh there we go. It's October! Woooh! Another month of trivialities, blunders, stress, and the occasional kilig moments from men (err boys) who are all definitely useless. Anyhows, more trying to figure out where I want to get myself to everyday and not thinking about the consequences or how I'm getting myself back home: Merville, Bacood, ol great UST, ol great Banawe, SM Sta Mesa, my sister's rooms, possibly Napocor Village, out-of-town trips, and God knows where as long as I don't rot in my room indulging in reads then turning emo and senseless 10pm onwards.


That's better.

Also, have I discussed how boredom is the root of all evil, goodness, and everything in between? Uh-huh. Well, it is. Idleness can change history. The most daring antics are anticipated when you're mind is running and running yet doesnt have an outlet for its energy. Uhhuh.

On idle moments, you start complicating your life by thinking too much, therfore causing misery for yourself and the people around you. Or, you can watch TV, preferebly some amusing slice-of-life sitcoms and you end up either a.) jealous because they live such colorful lives despite the mundane-ity or b.) uhhh, well, smiling.

And sometimes, you drink. Just out of boredom. Not from personal experience, I swear.

Or, you blog!


Namimihasa ka na. You don't wear makeup anymore.


I can tie my hair now.


My back is aching.


I can't do rim light.


I want that f-2.8 50mm Lens, but I dont think I deserve it.


Fuck. Sayang.


I'm sleeping in the same mess I made.

O sembreak, paligayahin mo ako.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

stop counting