Tuesday, June 10, 2008

5.13am

I'm scheduled to wake up at 6am today, but since I never got to sleep, Ive got more or less 45 mins to kill.

...


Recap of the whole summer
Question and Answer Edition:



How did you spend your summer?

I spent my summer almost beachlessly. Yup. Only got to go once and I sooo didnt enjoy it because I was sulking all the time.


I spent my summer drunk.


I spent my summer in keeping myself busy, but not really accomplishing it, because the moment I get home, I sulk again and complain of how much of a mess my life is.

I spent my summer outside. I spent my summer bothering everyone to take me out anyywhere, everywhere.

I spent my summer getting a tan. Learning. Staying up intil dawn.

I spent my summer partying like hell and totally not earning or saving any money.


What happened this summer?

ARE YOU REALLY ASKING THAT TO YOURSELF?


OMG! Ang daming nangyari this summer. To you. To the people around you. To the people you are not consious of. Possibly this summer is the most twisting summer in a million kajillion years.

Patay kayo when we get to school. Things are so totally different already.


SUPER DAMING NANGYARI! SOBRA! If my life were a miniseries (which I do believe it is), this would most probably be the turning point of EVERYONE! EVERYfuckingONE! That's why it's next season already. Things are already too different to relate to the last season.

Friendships. Romance. Scandals (ehrm ehrm). Hellos. Goodbyes. Arguments. Amends. Secrets. Revelations.



The worst thing this summer?

All the weak moments. Sniff sniff. (Ugh. Ack. Weak moments.)



....



Open letter to Paolo Martin Olimpo.
(Since I know you'd be reading my blog, and it's the first day of school and I'm pretty daring right now.)


Dear Pipao.

Hi.

What I tell to you in private, I can tell to you infront of everyone else.

Thank you for being a part of my life. Seriously. I know you're just a chapter I had to go through, otherwise, I wont be able to love. Anyone. Besides myself.

I learned to love my sisters because of you. To love my parents and not just to please them as a daughter because of you. I learned to love my friends. I learned to be unselfish.

I learned so much from being with you than from being in HS (well, the fact that I ssooo didn't learn anything from HS helps.)

So, how did I spend my summer?

I spent my summer having all the fun I can have. And most importantly, I spent my summer getting over you. I spent my summer doing everything in my power to squeeze the pain away and scratch the bitterness from my skin. Wow. Poetic. Pero that's so how I feel.

I had to go throught it day by day, no shortcuts. No amount of guys can make epal and make it easier.

I'm happy for me. It all started when I became happy for you.


I'm sorry it didn't work out. You are too, I know. :) But I know it's all my fault even if you kept on saying at first that it was yours. You triggered it and gave me the right moment, but it was my decision in the first place.


It was the right love at the wrong time. As scared as I was to say those words, I've said it.


I'll see you around school holding her hands, and you'll see me with my friends being as ingay as always.

I'm sorry I said you didn't care for the memories as much as I did. I know I always hurt you when I say stuff like that. I'm sorry I told you, but I still believe it. But I guess, memories fade. Let's all deal with that. We can't really refer to old conversations for references, because it's all just surreal and inaccurate. Whatever. It's just the past is not NOW.

Despite that, I'm happy for you. You're right, btw. I'm not the girl you fell in love with anymore (whatever that means). And she's pretty much just like I was when you fell in love with me back then. Haha. Same story, just without the complications I had to put you through. Ack. What am I saying... Pshh... What do I know.


I'm happy for you. Pero hindi ako martyr dahil hindi kita mapapatawad for one thing. Ask me in person. It's not for falling in love with someone else. It's not for not going back. Ask me in person and hope to God na I'm calm then and hindi kita sasampalin.


Other than that, what am I supposed to tell you pa ba..
Hmmm.
Dear, get your stuff. Ayoko na talaga nagmumura, pero PUTANGINA BUONG BAKASYON NA YAN AH! Pinapahirapan mo ba ko! TANGINA YAN LANG E! Ang dali dali gawin nun e!
And hooray for me. I've already moved on. Ages-ish ago.

Btw, do you know that we've never been friends before? You were a good boyfriend, though. Almost perfect. I was just a really really good girlfriend, too. \(^_^)/



You're absolutely wonderful, fantastic, and totally out-of-this world ex-girlfriend,
Macci.





P.S. Bawal magcomment unless ikaw c Pao! Ang magcomment dito putangina mo sasaksakin kita ng lapis pag nakita kita!

2 comments:

nicalicious said...

FRIENDSHIP!

macci said...

EPAL KA NICA! ADIK KA SA FRIENDSHIP!!! pakshet!

p.s.MAGSAMA KAYO NI BES!!