Wednesday, December 31, 2008


This is a concoction of reason and sentiments.

2008. Rock became my lulluby. Filled my head, it drowned stains of undelightful thoughts.

Season two was filled with raw sentiments. Unedited. Incorrect: Gramatically, By reason, By circumstance, By aesthetics.
Year 2008 and I'd been held by different hands. Too many different hands. I didnt want to belong to any. My soul was crying, begging me to stop. She was on her knees, wrist bleeding, not out of wanting death... exag un. Just fighting the greater pain with the lesser.
I had a crash course in philosophy.
,I read Sophie's world.
We are not Gods. We are not required to know everything. The search for the complete ultimate knowledge and philosophy is futile. Aside from the fact that it is vagued by influences.

I had a crash course in life. I hurt, and I survived

I can walk alone. Keep my mouth shut. Smile at the world again.
I learned that people are individuals. That live and love means a person is a single unit and life would be better if we knew someone purely as a person sans the fictions and facts circulating, jading.

I have unlearned luxury, fashion and all the ornate bullshit I feed myself with.

My internal organs have probably grown weary, film thinner because of the irrational and slightly excessive alcohol intake. And the other unhealthy intakes for that matter.
But what can I say? I'm 19.
We are young and reckless and restless
love is malabo. love is a vice. love is the highest form of high. love is optional.
But I have a tidbit of everything I want. I've ever wanted. Ever.
Human nature wired us to be eternally discontent.
But for a while in my life
I am fully fully fully satisfied.

No comments: