Tuesday, August 12, 2008


I've been drinking for the past three nights, including this one. Not that anyone cares. Well, not anymore.

And besides, I can handle it.

I don't want to tell the world that I'm motherfucking drinking really, because it feels like I'm showing off. Woopeedoo... I'm drinking. So cool of me (Sarcastic). See, I'm still not used to it. Even if I spent my summer drinking and I have no problems with alcohol and shit, I'm still not used to it. I miss Nica. I never get to talk to her anymore. Not much to talk about. I love you. I really do. I just don't know what to do anymore. And if by a mere twist of fate you get to read this, then that just means we have to talk. If you don't then we just let it fade away. Realistically speaking, sometimes we just need time. Time does not heal EVERYTHING, but this my possibly just be one of those things that time heals, along with the others.
No, dearies, I'm not exclusively dating anyone right now. Err, correction, IM NOT FUCKING DATING ANYONE RIGHT NOW. Agh. I don't know. Maybe I don't know enough people. Maybe I super don't look approachable. The heck. I know I'm pretty. I'm not even supposed to say that out loud because pretty people don't do that.

Maybe, just like drinking, I'm not used to being pretty.

Blue means I want to know you better. Maybe I do need to know you more. :) Maybe. If I'm just an actual social creature instead of the pretentious exclusive bitch that I am, maybe we'll get to actually talk.

I'm not over my phobia. The future. How do you fix that? This is currently making me pessimistic, and I'm scared to death that this might suck.

The fuck. Fuck pessimism, fuck fear.

Go get a life, sweetheart. Do your plates again. Do something with your time. Relaxing isn't relaxing you as much as working does.

I have secrets. Juicy ones. Indulge?

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