4:24am

Yipee. Kakauwi ko lang.

I have house keys. Illegal. Promise next time uuwi na ko maayos, legally. Pero had fun xe e.

I WANNA JAM. DEAR BAND, LOVE YOU. Ewan... enjoy kasi e. Maski amateurs. Well, ako oo.


Chep ang ganda ng cam mo! upload as soon as possible!


As always. Undrunk.




What.
Ever.

Today Part2

I had to cut part 1 short to save you, my lovely avid readers, from boredom. But again I go.

Hear hear.


Friday is plate day and unless I'm invited out, I'll be staying home and be all academic. You've no idea how much school work I missed because of what Gel jologz-ly calls "kaka-goodtime".

Well, she isnt't really wroooong, is she?


Nica on the other hand tells me to get God as a boyfriend and start being all goody already.


In other words, people are starting to get concerned.

And I am sooo late in realizing that they are.



The wake-up call?
1. 2 more absences I'm failing Ad Design. (I don't like addes much right now, though.)
3. Some guy who we shall be anonimizing with the penname "Jonh" asked me if life is treating me well enough and why am I not being dragged around by the usual girls I surround myself with.
4. I forgot to count. Tignan niyo ^ walang #2.
5. PD. CFD.

...

I am not turning my PC on til I'm done with work. Some people are sucked in their bed like some scientifically unexplained vortex... and Richard does that to me. I am, have been, always will be, in love with you.

Richard is the crappiest laptop in class. Gel used to have the crappies one, pero hightech na cia ngaun. Me, I'm using the never wading Mr.R.

You know how I see it?

You know how it no longer matters how faded by time mobile phones are? The more vintage-ous (uy imbento term), the better? That's how this laptop is.

Maski na kinakain na cia ng virus, sumusuka na na din cia ng virus, isa isa ng natatanggal mga keys nia sa keyboard, gasgas niya sadya kuno, springy na ung monitor, di na cia sensitive sa usb devices, at madalas na ciang mas sabog pa skin.. MAHAL NA MAHAL KO PA DIN TO. Antique to e.

Today Part1

Friday is now officially plate day.

I woke up at 11am and started working. Cutting, painting, conceptualizing... etc etc the works.


I am still late for everything. Late for CFD. Late for PD. But well, I dont mind the tardy. I just hate submitting crappy works.

Im late for school too every single day. Angels, help. :(


THE PD Plate is pretty. Ok lng. People would possibly like it. A bit impressive. But I don't like it. I did my best, I did. Still, bad composition. Oh well.. atleast the mojo is back.


...


This is the the third night I won't be sleeping. I've been comsuiming salvation (Starbucks Venti Hot Mocha) (uhhh. Pacool o. Sbux pre! lol.) for two night straight. When I asked my mom for another one because ill be pulling an all-nighter, she said "Tangina! Magtimpla na nalang kaya!"

Fine. She didn't really say that... but the content is very similar.


...


Yours truly is strictly an FX girl. But since I waited all morning at E-rod... with a bag weighing half my body mass strapped on me, I've decided to take the jeep. Yeah! After 30 mins I've decided to take the jeep. It was ok. It's morning anyway. And people smell pretty in the am.

Therefore, I've finally made up this practical rule I should've promulgated two years ago to take the jeep if life's being shit transportion-wise.

Attempt #2

I
am
imperfection.

...

Personal Assignment: Express how you feel at the very moment in the most poetic fashion you can possibly...uhh.. express.


Brittle nails are painted this orangish red
Feel the keys on these fingertips
No sensation must be left unsaid
Yet these churning thoughts I better keep
Passion is poetry in prose
But stringing words is such a feat
Shallow words are better than those
Empty excerpts I claim as shit.



Interpratation: Hindi ko natulog. Ang cute ng nail polish ko oh! Maski sirasira na. Yipeee! At TWG ako ulit maski bano na ko. At judgemental ako sa ibang writers. Buwahahahhaa.

Alam kong bibitaying yang "poem" ba yan sa TWG.

THOMASIAN WRITER'S GUILD, my friends!

Naaalala niyo ba yun? Naalala niyo ba nung July-August 2006?

Alam kong bibitayin ako dito PERO I DONT CARE.


P.S. Salamat ng sobra kay George and Issa. Gusto ko tawaging ate si Issa kasi parang.. basta feel ko kaylangan. Pero unfair naman kasi 18 palang si Geoerge. WAHHAHAHAHA. Ay 19 na pala pero di kasi nagpainom.


...


Dear Nica.

Tangina ang immature kooooo.

Your perslab, Macci.

P.S. Baka pag-inulit ulit ko to maicp mo na mature ko.



OO SABAW AKO. GUTOM NA KO. DI KO PA TAPOS PD! At kung anu anu na plano ko sa buhay ko. Pero nag-enjoy tlga ko sa pagpuyat ngayon.

Alabyulayp. Im just happy.

2:58 am.

I am in the middle of doing my PD plate. 36 hours overdue and 40% executed. I promised myself I wont go online.. but here I am, pouring redundant thoughts.

...

Iba talaga kapag napamahal ka na. Who would've thought?
Blurry noh. Siyempre, alam nio naman na may sense of mystery tong kalokohang blog na to e. Dahil duwag naman talaga ako e.


...

Speaking of duwag. Uh-huh. You are. You always were. :)

Pero anu magagawa ko. Masaya ko e. And okay na e. Hallelujah e.

Besudesm parepareho lng tayo. Duwag. Tao. Emo. Hahahaha.

...

Namiss ko ang magpuyat for a reason, not just because my mind is being abnormally overactive. Starbucks soy-based warm mocha. Definitely not decafenaited.

...

I love you sweetheart ko.

I know I should be writing bit more conscious and professional now because of TWG... more on that on the next post. I am sabaw na.

...

Wag nang makulit.

STUFF TO DO BUKAS

1. CLEAN CLOSET PARANG AWA MO NA
2. START PD PARANG AWA MO NA
3. DO ADDES IN SCHOOL PARANG AWA MO NA

CFAD Week Part 2 (Galit Version)

Excerpt from one of the best writers I know personally. The content, pare.
timestanstill.multiply

"rant (babala puro mura NAKAKATAMAD DIN BASAHIN.) Nov 22, '08 1:42 PM
for Bruce's contacts
tungkol sa cfad.

blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla
blablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla

isang malaking PUTANGINA para sa administrasyon na nagpapalakad sa kolehiyo ng fine arts sa uste.
isang napakalaking WALANG KWENTA ng namumuno sa PUTANGINANG administrasyon na humahawak ngayon sa kolehiyo ng fine arts sa uste.

tangina ng DEAN.
tangina ng putanginang PARI
at isang gitnang daliri para sa lahat ng sumusuporta sakanilang dalawa.

ANG CFAD WEEK AY PARA SA MGA TAO SA CFAD.
KASAMA ANG MGA SUMUSUNOD:

-ANG PINAKAMAHAHALAGANG ESTUDYANTE
-PROPESOR
-MGA STAFF NG KUNG ANO ANONG BRANCH NG CFAD
-JANITOR
-GWARDIYA
-AT KAHIT SINO PA.

ITO AY NAGMIMISTULANG PAMBAWI PARA SA MASASAKLAP NA GABING GUMAGAWA NG PLATE NA PINAPAGAWA NG ISANG PROPESOR NA WALA NAMANG ITINUTURO PERO KUNG MAKAPAGPAGAWA NG PLATE E KALA MO KUNG SINONG NAGLELECTURE NA KAINTI-INTINDI.

ITO AY ENTERTAINMENT, PARA KAHIT ONTING PANAHON MALIMUTAN NAMING MGA ESTUDYANTE YUNG STRESS NA NARARAMDAMAN NAMIN AT YUNG PRESSURE NA IPINAPATONG SA MGA ULO NAMIN.

ANG CFAD WEEK AY PARA SA CFAD. HINDI PARA SA ISANG TAO.
ITO AY PARA SA ATING LAHAT NA MAY KAKAYAHANG BUMUO NG ART.
NA MAY KAKAYAHANG MANGONSEPTO O GUMAWA NG KAKAIBANG BAGAY MULA SA MGA ORDINARYONG BAGAY
ITO AY PARA SA LAHAT.

YUNG NAKASANAYAN NANG CFAD WEEK NUNG MGA OLD STUDENTS YUNG MASAYA, YUNG MADAMING ACTIVITIES, YUNG MADAMING GINAGAWA, YUNG BONGGA, YUNG MAGMIMISTULANG HINDI TOTOO DAHIL NGA CFAD TAYO, AT TAYONG MGA CFAD AY KAKAIBA KUNG MAG ISIP. OUT OF THE BOX PALAGI. KUNG MINSAN OUT OF THIS WORLD.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

kung sino pa yung dapat na nagmumulat at nagtuturo satin kung pano iimprove yung kakayahan nating magisip na gumawa ng mga bagay na kakaiba e, yun pa yung mga taong nagmimistulang mga pabigat sa atin.

nagkandaleche leche yung cfad week dahil sa administrasyon.
eto mga nalaman ko HINDI TO ACCURATE. PAKI TANONG NALANG YUNG MGA NASA SC KUNG TOTOO BA NAKUHA KO LANG TO SA NAPAKAMAPAPAGKATIWALAANG SOURCE:

kaya walang tugtugan nung mga nakaraang araw, na dapat sana kung may kwenta yung cfad week e araw araw from 1pm-9pm may tumutugtog na mga banda galing cfad, e dahil sabi daw ng admin "NONSENSE". TANGINA NILA.

isa pang kaululan.
yung masayang cfad week intramurals, underground, kase di pinayagan ng administrasyon. ANAK NG PUTA TALAGA. pati athletics.

isa pa ulit.
kaya walang booths, o tindahan sa loob ng uste, yung mga nakikita nyong cantonese bla bla, yung binibilhan ng pagkain sa tabi ng pav, yung mga nagbebenta ng kung ano ano sa tabi ng pav. e dahil pinatanggal nung hayop na pari. PARA SAN? ngayon, dahil may kontratang pinirmahan yung mga yun, nagkaroon ng malaking utang yung CFAD SC sa kanila. DAHIL PINATANGGAL NG PARI. TANGINA KA PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH.

di ko na sasabihin pa yung iba, yan nalang. yan kase yung medyo issue e.
MADAMING ACTIVITIES ANG HINDI INAPPROVE NG ADMINISTRATION.

estudyante tayo, may karapatan tayo para sa kaunting kaligayahang nakalaan para sa CFAD WEEK. dahil tayo ay cfad, yun ay ating linggo.

pero bat hinahadlangan ng mga kumag at buwayang mga hayop na yan?
bat nila kailangang pumapel?
bat nila kailangang MANGDIKTA?
BAT KAILANGANG HADLANGAN NG MAPANGDIKTA NILANG MGA GAWAIN YUNG MGA DAPAT SANANG IKINALILIGAYA NATEN?

TANGINA ANG BULOK BULOK NA NGA NG BUILDING E.
BULOK NA UPUAN
BULOK NA PASILIDAD
BULOK NA AIRCON
BULOK NA PROPESOR
BULOK NA MGA LAMESA
MUKANG PUBLIC SA SIKSIKAN NA MGA CLASSROOMS
PATI PAMAMALAKAD BULOK DIN.

ORAS NAAAAAAAAA.

TANGINA NILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.


REVOLUTION. REVOLUTION. REVOLUTION.

Artistically Emo

3:18am.

Okay. Im not going to sleep. This is what will happen. I'm prepping up for school at 5am, then I'll be at school at 7. I have an hour to kill, which I will probably use for Fashion Design. Im paying nici's 100php! Finally! I hate borrowing money, ugh.

...

My biology is wasted. I popped my first ever ever ever v tonight (im sorry to disappoint you friends and family), buuut turns out I just drunk no-drowse decolgen. So that just means I am now completely wasted. Disorriented. My body will be detoriorating soon.

...

I am in no posession of legal intimacy. It's so poetic that it's quizical. Legal intimacy. Legal intimacy.

You can ask for it, it's just like the Vs... or any other form of drugs. Its something you just have to look for, and if you really want it you'll have it.

That is so not the point, though. The point is I'm still awake at 3:23 and my mind has fearlessly wandered all the options of teen-age life as an artist. It's the art in the mess, chaos, and ruins.

All that and you have to keep your self sane for college. And for your damn no longer squeeky clean, but fortunately clean nonetheless, reputation.

...

Ice Cream is for the heartbroken. Dearest dear dear, I love you. We've always been like this, but we somehow get through stuff. LQ is LQ, but the L in LQ prevails! Woohoo! Hanep!

Olats, pare.. I sound like some potbelly-ed drunkard, I know. But oh well.. richish.

Lol lol lol. This sounds so malisyoso. Huwahahah.

Free.

10 minutes to 1am.


Ranting.


There's nothing to write about.

There's nothing to think about.


...


EVERYONE PLEASE STOP BLOG LEAVING AND ENTERTAIN ME!


...


Dearest. Do you still love me. :( Sorry na. Hanggang ngayon di pa din nagsisink-in. So ayun. Go. Diba? Im sorry. Kausapin mo na ko. -Jr.

CFAD Week

The best of Arcadedrifter.blogspot... well an excerpt of one of the best. You should do more reviews like this, yknow.



"...In other news, Fine Arts week in uni is sucking to high hell. Students blame admin, admin blames students, and every other person is blaming the head of the college (not the dean, let's call him The Rectum.) So, the past head of the college was actually a pretty cool guy, but he passed away, and this new jerk came to power and became The Rectum. Since his establishment, it feels as if he's out to make us unnecessarily miserable; Suddenly throwing major restrictions on what liberties we could take with the uniform(personally, I find being forced to wear dress shoes in a flood-prone area retarded. Otherwise, I'm used to it, I went to a catholic boy's school for fourteen years.), Slowly degrading the fun factor of our fine arts week, and from what I've heard, he's a generally disagreeable piece of crud to most students.

I know I keep bringing this up, but I sincerely thought that The Rectum was trouble ever since he decided to ask that particular professor to 'politely leave'. That was total bullshit, and we all know it. The security guards were causing unnecessary hassle, and I'll admit, Sir's reaction was less than professional, but the fact that The Rectum was willing to let go of talent like that... not to mention, he didn't blink an eye when two more of the professors, good ones at that, left in protest... well, I guessed it wast just going to get worse, and it surely has..."


And yeah.. he writes waaayy better than I do. As always. Read more: arcadedrifter.blogspot.com.

On illness, strength, enigma, and haircuts

6 hours ago I was so fucckingly sick. As in. I can't remember being so pissed off at being sick than that. So that's how being sick feels like.

Growing up lessens the charm of sickness. You used to get pampered up when you're sick, and you get an extra special everything. You don't even have to eat dinner when you're sick.. and you pretend to be sicker than you really are for the sake of sympathy.

Then you grow up. And when you do, being sick means you don't feel well. T_T At all.

...


Sweetheart, what happened to this?

Strength is the ability to make great changes despite the consequences.
Strength is the ability to adapt to changes.
Strength is positive thinking inspite of challenges and difficulties.
Strength is grace under pressure.
Strength is calmness.
Strength is being able to think straight and proper.
Strength is accepting blame and keeping an open mind.
Strength is kindness.
Strength is an outlook that makes things better instead of bleak.
Strength is standing up.
Strength is living under correct principles.
Strength is betterness for others and for yourself.
Strength is finding happiness.

...


Remember when I used to post cryptic entries months ago? Well, I can't understand a word of it now. o_O


...


HAIR TALK!

I need a haircut. AS IN. AS IN AS IN AS IN AS IN! My hair is in a stage where it needs... a haircut! As in!

BUUUT... I'm waiting 'til december. Mid-december? End of december?

Haircuts can be rather scary, you know. You don't really know what you'll look like when you get out of the salon. Scaaarrryyyy...

Squar root

Just to keep you guys entertained.

Watchy watch!

HUWAHAHAHAH HUWAHAHAHAH HUWAHAHAHA!!

Can't breathe.

Well, actually... nung isang araw ko pa napanuod yan at hindi na siya ganun kaeffectiv.

...

Sicky. :(

Again. Told you it's around.

...

So anyway, I've been keeping it quiet but I am involved with some trial band with some guys I know. It's nothing really. I just tried it, and frankly, I enjoy it. Thing is, I kill too much time on the studio just hanging out. I go home too late. My alcohol rate has increased threefold. Fine, it's not really the band's fault... But I just think I won't be pushing through with it anymore. I mean, my vocals suck. I don't think I can actually BE a band girl anyway.

I mean the people are great. They're funny and spontaneous and extremely laidback... there's charm in that. And I get along well with most people... so why not right?

Gawd. I don't even know why I'm ranting here.

On academics, honesty, and relief.

So far, I am sooo behind. Everyone's at the peak of theire works and I'm just starting out. Damn.

Is the DL-power wearing off this quickly. (Oh yeah, it already has.)

Am I doing everything in my power to pull my grades up? Am I, ack ack ack, being mediocre?


Seriously.. help. I need a lot of push right now. Please. I need you to show me that I'm sooo far behind and that I have to start working already.


The perfect solution to DL-dom: Stay home with nothing interesting to do aside from photoshop, sketching, and conceptualizing. Enough socializing, you social climbing bitch! Stay home and remind yourself that life is not all fun and games... Life's more of torturing youreself to work.


Semi-Perfect working situation:
Chatting with plate at hand.
Ipod on and working in class.
Painting while gossiping.
etc etc

...


I don't lie. I do my bestest in the world never to lie. To my friends, to my parents, and to myself. Especially the self part, because the best way to fix yourself is to know what to fix anyway. Not that I'm very good at fixing myself. I'm not good with memorizing either, so excuse making is not my forte. Why depend on a fictional statement when you can manipulate the truth without lying.

I, however, do keep secrets. And play pranks. A lot.

But I don't lie.

Disclaimer: As much as I can.

...

Closures

That was harsh, I know. And well it's not exactly closure. You're around there roaming and its just over with. I tried other ways, but it nothing works as well as this.

That was perfection to the core. Perfect perfect perfect. Sigh.

And That was x months overdue. Relief. The greatest weight has been liften from my ribs and I can breathe again. And live again.

Post-controversy ish

I am sick.

As Timbay says, it's flu season. It's going around. It's either you're sick, or your seatmate is. A third of the biosphere population is suffering from cough, cold, snottiness, bangag-ness, grouchyness and phlegm.

I don't feel so good.

...


Macci: ...Hindi naman kasi ako ung tipo ng tao na masalita e.
World: ULOL!

...

Random other people updates:

1. Marina likes RJ. La lala lala la.
2. Nica is still kulot.
3. Bryski is career mode moveiewatching-wise
4. Mel is hard to draw caricature wise
5. Adtu is green for the fashion show. Ugh. Green. I wish we did the stereotype themes instead.
6. Adtu loves Ma'am Nady lectures
7. Bombee is not takda, he is bakla.
8. Geno is very much missed still
9. Pepz does the invites
10. Kit not blogging enough
11. Khan is MIA

Could have been

*Nakalimutan ko na lahat ng dapat isulat*

...

90 miles outside chicago can't stop driving, I don't know why...

Someday, when I'm awfully lone...


...

Dear "Mac",

I miss you. Good night.

-You

...

Dear you,

Hugs.

-Me.

...


"*Insert quote I forgot here*"
-Anonymous.



Big kiss. Big hug.


...

Dear you,

Sigh. Hmmm.
Ahdjskhdklsfdsfds.
Im still speechless... as always.

Dead na dead. Lol.


-Me.


...

Dear me,

...Next! It wouldn't have worked. I miss you, dimples. What is time?
-Me.

Missy miss.

To my dearest belovedest FIREFOX,

I missed you so baddy bad. Kissy kiss. Hug hug.
Sigh.

Finally. Back again to the perfect tabs, favorites, search histories, links, speed, etc. No more unavailable sites and uncatchy layouts. Whatevetevetever.

...


THE BIRTHDAY BOX HAS ARRIVED!

Can't find the dollars. Found 2 issues of Allure instead. And 3 new pair of chucks. And fancy fakes I'll never wear. You can't have it all.


...

To my lovely friends who knew any history about me... Maybe its not what I attract. Maybe people in general really go psycho when they like someone? Wachathink?


Too too too bad.


...

9:32 PM

OMG NATUPAD UNG GREATEST FEAR KO EVER. NA PAPERCUT AKO SA WRIST........... T_T HINDI AKO MAKAHINGA NGAUN. ANG PAPANSIN KO DAHIL BINOBLOG KO PA! SHEEETTT... NAKAKAKILABOT. PAKSHET! GUSTO KO NA UMIYAK. FJSHFKSJHFKSJHKJSDKJSVKBSDGHDSJKBKJSFGHBDFSGa

SMS

I
hate
texting.


You wait for what ranges from 5mins to 15 mins to an hour for a message not more than a hundred characters. The anticipation is awful. And you always have to check your phone for updates.

Then technical misfits (e.g. signal, battery, networks, dysfunctional keypad...)

I know I used to complain that I barely get to text anyone and I just realized why I dont. The fucking anticipation is hell.


Rant mode.

...


My worst habit in the world is hitting the snooze button on everything. Waking up. Doing work.

My second worst habit is / has been cutting my hair.

The third worst would be chasing the crush away.

...

To Do List

-PD Research: a.size b.design reference
-Photo: (Ad Reproduction) a.Submit ref b.Take photo
-Fashion: (Ways and Means) Make calls for sponsorship
-Ad Des: a.Render b.9 boxes comic strip
-Fashion: 4 figures of sports apparel

-Find 400D charger
-Find your Mocha Pink blusher
-Fix bags
-Buy Jas's stud belt
-Replenish funds (e.g. You are broke do something about it)
-Band record whatevevevs.

11.12

Manong Guard took my ID because I was wearing denim jeans to school. Black semi-denim jeans which didn't use to be a big deal back then...

It isn's to bad really.. since it's always been a bit of an issue and I've never really done anything to legalize my schoolwear. (They said they won't let me in beato wearing those jeans, so I got a new cotton-ish pair from Bench. Sadly, cotton-ish does not count as slacks. Fucker.)

So now.... I guess I'll be actually buying the offial CFAD slacks which may absolutely do nothing for me. :( And what the fuck am I going to do with the previous five pairs I've purchased solely for school use!??!

Oh. And I'm still kinda broke.

...


Nica's hair is kulot and she was able to conceal it from us for THREE FUCKING YEARS! And she went around all day showing off her glory of curls.

Then I cut it. Now it's all pretty and layered at the back. Well, hopefully it is... We'll find out after she wash her hair.

Anyhows,:D Yihee. The tandem called Macci and Anypairoffunctionalscissors is on again.


...


Pauline's back home and I still haven't talked to her. Sucks. If life were perfect, I'd have brought her to Terrance's on Saturday night. But I have an earlier affair to attend to... so there we go. My bestfriend still don't know my college friends. PAU WHERE ARE YOU?


...


Oh and yeah, if life were perfect, I'd have my ID back and I can go to school in my pair of black non-denim/non-slacks jeans.

ASgdsjhsdfk

Since, as it turns out, there's a chance you might be reading this...

Dear you,

Adhfskfhs

-Me.

Control.

Today.
...

You
are
so
gulo.
Wala na. Lol.

...

I need to get myself on the DL-list. Other wise. I'm useless.

...

Renewed.

Moving moving moving

The thing is, my idea of sport is stretching. Uhhuh. And I don't excel in it. I can't even fucking reach my toes without that anguish pain on my tendons. Scratch that. I don't know what tendons are.

Moving on.

Me and my friends got this Friendship Notebooks. 6 miniature-ish notebooks with pretty pretty and expensive looking desighs. Well, despite the classiness, it's still immature to have friendship notebooks. Especially now that we are in our third year of college. AND WE HAVE A FRIEND AGED 20 (uhh.. Gel)!

Mine says "Happy Memorial Sky". Aaaandd.. despite the classiness, the captions are reminiscent of dysfunctional korean dvd subtitle. Don't let me get into the other girl's captions.


Moving on (again).

I want flash for my 400d. I want the flash so that I can use the pretty diffuser! (I am so absolutely lame.)
I want lenses too.



Moving on (FOR THE LAST TIME)

They coined the term "old school" and the world became a better place. Old stuff aren't just "old"... they are "old school". Totally tacky songs from 90s and beyond are oldschool. Shouldpads are old school. The monstrous look I had from my past is old school. And monstrous.

Broke. Not broken. Nor emo.

Confession.

I finally had my bedsheets changed after over 2 months. Or more. I'm not telling.

AND IT FEELS SOO DIVINE!

I know the sheets are not in sync with each other, but wtf. It's so nice to sleep in.

And btw, I'm like totally broke. So broke that I'm in debt. I'm working on raising my allowance, I am, but it's not working very well because I am under parental probation. A.k.a. nagpapagoodshot.

The previous statement follows that I will be having a week-long alcohol fasting. Well, it doesn't start today, mind you. 2nd week of the school year.



So, what's up with me?

1. Under Parental Probation due to going home smelling like smoke and bottle of beers. Not once, not twice, not thrice... get the idea yet?

2. I do not have new clothes. At all. I've been recycling.

3. My insomnia is a wee bit better because I still do the fake yoga before sleeping, and because of the 'divine' bedsheets.

4. I have somewhere to go to tomorrow night, but I have respectively Php-150 and no savings. See the negative sign (-)? I've yet to figure out how to survive school tomorrow! Or go to school at that.

5. I firmly believe that I am undoubtedy kicked out from the DL list and the only way to get my name there is via some divine intervention. Which does not really happen in real life. If I were in some tacky movie or book, I'd find my name there "unexpectedly"... but what am I saying? Life's not perfect... can you see that I'm short. In more ways than one.

6. I think I lost a pound or two. No big deal. Atleast I still look properly malnourished.

7. HOWEVER DUE TO ALL THE MISFORTUNES PRESENTED, I AM PERFECTLY HAPPY. Which is totally weird. And I think the yoga-ish did it!

8. I haven't smoked for x days. Well, that isn't very extreme an event... but the fact that I've been surrounded by my lovely friends who smoke all those x days gives it more meaning than, well, me staying home andnot having a stick in sight. Peer pressure begone.

9. We miss Geno. Correction. WE NEED GENO! This is his idea of the perfect semester. T_T Fashion. Photography. Caricatures. Fashion Show. Fashion. Fashion. Fashion. WHERE ARE YOU? YOU'VE BEEN M-I-A FOREVER! We can't stop thinking about you!!!

Quezon

I'd like to share details.. but its boring. So a game of pictionary will do.

Sched

I might as well as figure out the schedule on my blog for public purposes :)

Monday 7-12 Ad Design
Tuesday 7-12 Photography | 5-9 Package Design
Wednesday 12-4 Fashion
Thursday 7-12 Ad Design | 12-4 Life Painting | 6-9 Ad Prac
Saturday 8-11 Art Ap? | 12-3 Pro Ethics | 3-6 Psychology


...

Lalalalalalalalala. Sigh. *Smile*

evolution

Currently nursing the last and worst hang over of the season.

The next one's different. We know it.


It's safe to say, but there's no reason to say it, but here I go: I'm happy today.


MAGBABAGO NA OKS?

Smart

Another one of Macci's Utterly Biased Version of
HOW TO WAKE YOURSELF UP
(not just physically, but mentally)

1. Wakeup at 7:12am when your class starts at 7am
2. Get a proper 7-10 hour sleep. Not less than 7 ot more than 10.. both of which makes you feel all groggy and unpretty
3. Apply makeup
4. Learn that you have a good breakfast downstairs. Or perhaps a good day ahead of you.
5. Accidentally get your period while you were asleep. (YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO WAKE UP NOW)
6. Find a foreign creature on bed with you (ex: Chabbo, an insect, a reptile, a male humanbeing)
7. Have a broken heater. Or maybe a new shampoo!
8. Don't press the snooze button!
9. Sudden surge of sunlight
10. Annoying knock on the door.

...


Because I am living in an artist's community, I don't think I'll ever find out what a Republican is? And what's the other one again... a Democrat/ic?

...


One more week of semestral break... and miraculously, my birthday box did not arrive. I know, it's already two months late. The overseas grand-folks said it takes 30-days delivering period, BUT HOW COME IT'S NEVER ARRIVED EVER?

...

I am listening to Paramore. Weird because I am, like, a year late on EVERY Music trend. Which, you know, doesn't matter.. because music interests are extremely subjective.

...

I sound so much smarter because I just read Time Magazine. Oh, and they featured this Filipina scientist who loves shrimps so much that she would like help in saving tha mangroves to save the shrimps. Go figure. All that actually matters is that she's a Filipina.

Uhhuh. That's a smart me for you.


...

The past and the future just as much as each other... but nothing beats the present. Now is now. Everything else is just good on paper.

I dont play games.

What are the chances of me getting addicted to valiums?

Maybe thats why God gave me friends who dont have them.


Talk is cheap.

Talk is cheap.

Imma Shades Now.

My heart is beating so fast I can feel it throbbing everywhere. The back of my ears, my ankles, my chest, my fingertips.

...

No moment can ever be duplicated.

And no great thoughts you formulate on the jeep-ride home will sound just as you wanted it when you blog about it.


It's just nice to know that this is it. And that the ideas you keep on your head will actually be what you'll get. LOA regulations.


Sometimes I wish I can give you guys something worth reading. Haha.

Oooer

All in all our relationship with people aren't supposed to be complicated. Their are expectations and growth whatever whatever etc etc.

THEN THERE'S EMOTION. Which pretty much messes up everything, especially our hearts and head.

We always run the risk of hurting and being hurt.

TANGINA MO. ANG EMO MO. Nakain na ng sembreak utak nating mga kabataan kaya emo na tayo.

...

No. I do not have thoughts worth sharing right now.

Therefore:


Yan. Masasayang oras natin parepareho!


Ano school mo?
UST.

Magkano pamasahe mo araw araw?
20php plus 15 php x2. un

Ano course mo?
CFAD

Nung first day of classes, pumasok ka ba?
OO NG NAKASHORTS.

Nakatapak ka na ba sa library?
oo. para magmakeup. nung 1st year

Nawala ka na ba sa library?
uh... hello. no.

May tambayan ka na ba sa University mo?
pav 2-5. Pangit sa pav1, madilim and hindi friendly.

Memoryado mo na lahat ng sulok ng school mo?
uhh. no.

Binaha ka na ba?
OO NAMAN. USTE AKO! WOOH!

May terror teacher?
PE. Table tennis.

May baklang teacher?
OO. Madami. Iba't ibang version.

May baliw na teacher?
oo.

May menopause/andropause teacher?
???? not sure.

1st day of classes, ano hinanap mo?
naghanap ng friend and ng gwapo.

Aircon ba room niyo?
We're rich thankyou very much.

Malamig naman ba?
Depende sa room at upuan mo.

Ano pangalan ng section mo?
adtu.

May epal ba sa section mo?
C teresa ng.

Ikaw lang ba magulo sa class mo?
hindi

May skolar ka bang kaibigan at kaklase?
si mike delicious pasites.

May pinagtitripan ka sa klase mo?
yata

May natripan ka ba sa klase mo?
PUTANGINA MO!

May maganda ba sa College mo?
oo.

madami kami. wahahahha. kala mo hindi ako hihirit noh! huwahahah.


Tumakbo ka sa student council?
hindi. c nica pinipilit ko magpresident

Officer ka ba ng class mo?
HUWAHAHHA. OO BAKET!

Ano fave subject mo?
Marriage and Family.

Ano worst subject mo?
um... O_o logic

Nag cut ka na ba?
oo.

Nalate ka na ba?
ay hinde.

Kumakain ka ba sa mga karinderya?
OO NAMAN NOH. ANU AKALA MO SAKIN? HINDI GAME?

Sumakit naman ba tiyan mo?
hindi

Ilang oras klase mo?
basta madami.

Miss mo na ba High school?
hindi. pangit st.paul university quezoncity e

Ano tawag sa building mo?
beato lurve

Nagpapasa ka ba ng assignment?
oo.

May nakaaway ka na ba?
oo c jihan. ayoko sa muslim.

jokes are halfmeant. isipin mo kung aling half dun ung meant. WAHAHHAHAHAH!
<3 <3 <3 lots of love.

San ka mas close sa mga kaklase mo, babae o lalake?
boys. kasi malandi ako. JOKE. fine hindi joke. pero sa girls ako mas close.

May pakner ka na ba?
TANGINA YOU!

Tambay ka ba ng CR kapag walang teacher?
maski meron, deary.

Napasok mo na lahat ng kasulok sulukan ng University mo?
HINDI NGA

Last, masaya ka ba sa mga nangyayari nitong 1ast sem mo?
tama lang. oo, i guess. puta, pake mo.



...

Conclusion: I curse like a guy. fuckness.

icantthinkofanything

I'm at Nica's house. It's gonna be a busy week.

Lalalalalala.


Thoughts and insights:

Sex and the City still rocks. I miss everyone. I WANNA DRESS UP AGAIN!

3:57

I can't sleep again.

Trust me, I tried. I even brought the laptop down, because I was considering the possiblity that the laptop is the reason why I don't get to sleep. Something in Reader's Digest said that the screen actually activates our mind therefore deeming sleep difficult. Whatever.



And because I am now a Proactive person (as described by 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey. Fuck off! Leave me alone!), I will be taking sleeping pills / aides every other day for a month or two UNTIL I GET THE SLEEPING RIGHT!

It's that or I go to a shrink!

...

Ans since I'm awake anyway, might as well as attempt to humour you guys.

Here is the very uninteresting magazine general review by yours truly according to my biased and merciless opinion.

Candy Magazine - Bullshit. Everything there is not real in the first place. Fashion sucks. Sucky writing too. General advices though... I thought they would work back then. VERY LIGHT READING. Layout's usually okay though.
Rating: ***

Meg - Worse version of Candy Mag in all aspects
Rating: *

Seventeen Magazine - Better older version of Candymag
Rating: *** and a half*

Chalk - Trendier-ish version of Seventee, but very much less informative. Vanity.
Rating: *** and a quarter*

Preview - Fashioable. Classy. Loved the layout. Getting boring though.
Rating: ****

MEGA - Preview only not as good. But it's okay.
Rating: *** and three quarters*

SugarSugar- bullshit. But I love whit layout. Worse version of chalk. Love that it's NEW though.
Rating: ***

Vogue - too Fashiony. Totally unapplicable. But its the mag of all time, and there must be credit for that. And good writing.
Rating: *** and another * for being the magazine of all time. = ****

Cosmopolitan - BAD BAD FASHION. And it's all about pleasing your man. Amusing though.
Rating: *** and a half*

Marie Claire - The best of Women magazine. Substantial. Good layout. Worth every penny.
Rating: **** and a half*

Allure - True to its form. Beauty. Good writing too. But repeats itself.
Rating: **** and three quarters*

Rogue - CLASSY. SUBSTANTIAL. NICE LAYOUT. LOCAL. VERY UNISEX. Lacks more content, but I can deal with that because the pages are always so crisp. ARTSY!
Rating: *****

Nylon - It's very trendy. Lacks content. But more or less its okay
Rating: *** and a half*

FHM - Very amusing. Nice layout. Too boyish though.. which is how it intended itself to be in the first place
Rating: ****

Maxim - Not as good version of FHM, but its actually ok. Not enough content though.
Rating: *** and a half*

Playboy - Never read. But its been told to be too trashy.
Rating: ** and a half*

Roam - Just one issue out. Writing and layout sucks. Pretty pics. Nice page. But really unconvincing writing.
Rating: **

Digital Photographer - Infromative. Clean. It's not its fault I can't relate sometimes. Success in objectives.
Rating: ****

Readers Digest - better lighter version of time. More reader friendly.
Rating: ****

Time Magazine - too political. I'm not THAT smart, I'm sorry to say.
Rating: **


...


I must have bored you. Sorry, got so much time. I'm waiting for Sex and the City to load. And I do love magazines, see.

Sex and the City

It's 5:09am, and when I write, I have Carrie Bradshaw's voice reading my lines in my head!

Then, life becomes so cosmopolitan for me.


SO here's a lowdown of the previous week. I go out every single day, I don't know how I get to have money... I dressed up once, and the rest of the time, I'm a jeans and shirt girls.. with chucks if I'm in a slightly dress-up mood.

Why the sudden disinterest in fashion?

Fashion 2008 sucks. It's not fun anymore. I'm better off wearing the comfy clothes that does nothing for my confidence than the fancy ones that does nothing for my confidence either because they are too "pop". Well, good thing it actually converted my wardrobe selection younger.

I am NOT trying to save up on clothes either, most of the stuff are just not worth my time or money.. besides thet comfiest heels on earth (Cyprus Crocs in Bronze size 6. Do not judge me because I don't judge you. SO FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE SUCKERS!).


Okay, Carrie Bradshaw does not curse in my head. That was me all along, reading outloud because that is exactly how I feel at the moment.


Ehem.

It's now 5:14. Maybe I should get breakfast then sleep.

Dear friends

Sa mga kaibigan ko na ninakawan ko ng ipit (lalo na ung more than once)

e.g. Louie (ng sobra), June, Nici, Jihan, Pido, Marina(?), Dad(?), Te, Tin, Mil(?), Pauline, atbp.

I AM SO SORRY. Di ko na cia maisosoli sainyo. Pero sana mapahiram nio pa din ako ng hindi nasisira mga pagkakaibigan natin.

I love yous.

Long hair na ko.

12:27am

My head hurts. Anyway, I've been watching Sex and the City. You know how every academic break is entitled to one or two television series, right? No matter how old school or hot new.. yeah, that.

(Thanks to surfthechannel.com, sembreak salvation.)

Well, it's extremely empowering to women. Kinda. Ugh, whatever. They make sex sound like so recreational. And they make cities sound like some modernized and (itsybitsy) civilized pigpen where dating is a breeze. Where love is shallow and coincidental.

Men are driven by sexual urges and women are driven by emotions. That's a life lesson for you. But it's not exactly true-true... but....



Anyway.

I've been having signature coffee everyday of the week. Or half of a signature coffee everyday of the week, since I can't get to finish them due to other circumstances I have to attend to (e.g. going home).


...


I'm formatting my laptop on tuesday. Goodbye pictures. GEL, WILL YOU PLEASE GO ONLINE!

Oh and btw, my sleeping pattern is screwed. Just like always. I sleep at 5am.. wakeup at 10am.. watch an S&tC episode and go back to sleep without breakfast.. wakeup at 4, leave then be back home before 12. That's sembreak of the truly single for you.

Abso-fucking-lutely

It's at 6:26am that the world is actually asleep. No one's online anymore and the solitariness is bearable. They didnt leave you. They just had to rest. Besides, they'll all be awake at 11pm later.


Girl Day Plans

Be as shallow and maarte as you want to be.

1. Indulge in Fashion Magazines
2. Prep self up.
3. Dress up. Wear a skirt. Or shorts.
4. Don't be afraid to wear makeup for a while. I know you love makeup, but they don't... so you compromise yourself for them.
5. Don't wear the same bangles, watch and earrings you wear every single day.
6. Don't say bad words.
7. Watch sex and the city, E!, and chick flicks.
8. PINK.
9. Don't wear a backpack.
10. Use perfume.


Seriously, I very obviously try not to be as girly as I want to be lest being called maarte. It's inevitable though. Because I really actually am maarte by heart. I talk too much because I've got lots on my mind and I want it out. I want to justify everything. I curse a lot. I give in to peer pressure. I can be tad too nice or tad too bitchy. As much as I aim to be mature, I'm still a kid. I am so fucking imperfect.

And of course I'm insecure. Duh duh duh! Who isn't?




Thiiiss feels so nice.

Must Buy

Rogue October
Sleeping pills
Comfiest heels in the universe

Back issues
Massage

...


Ang hirap ng ganto. Promise. IIYAK NA KO!


...


91 pounds na ko. wow. sana wag ako malungkot.. pumapayat ako pag sad.

To the only man
who has ever brought
thunder and lightning
and rainbows
into my life.
It happens once
and when it does,
it's forever.
To my one and only love.
with all my heart,
beloved Popeye.
I love you

-Olive

Once someone stops respecting you, you don't need them in your life.
Sembreak na.

...


Agh. Btw, 1 goal down. I'm finally officially 90 pounds. FOR REAL WALANG DAYA!

...


**Edit:

5 hours later, I'm 89 again. Fuck.

Ang sarap sigurong hindi mag-isip.

Kelan kaya dadating yung araw na titigil na ko sa panggugulo sa utak ko at TALAGANG MAGRERELAX? Hindi magiisip ng problema or ng future? Ng what-if's and why's?

...



BTW. Ang sarap ng Yellow Cab Cheese 10" Php250. Lalo na pag nagshashare ka.

Maski walang kashare masarap actually.

Pero mas masarap talaga pag wala ka sa bahay.


WHY AM I BEING SO EFFING TAGALOG TONIGHT?

Rationale

Uhhuh.

New header.

"It's what I see that matters."

...umm, no explanation. Really. It just sounds good. Maybe I'll change that soon.. who knows.


...

We are all miserably unaware that we suffer the same malady.

Monotonous life.

I know, okay. We just want things to be new. There's that fresh cold whiff of lovely air when new things happen. Good ones.

Can we expect life to be fair and exciting? There are pleasant and tragic surprises waiting for us. And sometimes, there aren't. Quit waiting.

...

It's Season ?

? being "God knows what"

We can't countem. As much as we try. How do we know if they are countable in the first place, because sometimes, they aren't. They are better left alone.

Contrary to popular beliefs, theere never was a season 2. Or a season 1.

It just drags on day by day by day.

Or maybe there actually is.

OH MY GOD. I've got a rationale: It's just how we see it.

I go home and the thin film of the country's stench envelopes my skin. It is an aroma of vices, of smoke and alcohol and saliva and pot. Oh, and pollution.

I wanted to get away from the dark ages. And the night life is far from the dark ages. It is actually a collection of glow-in-the-dark neon rainbow colours. It's the perfect redemption. But yes, it's still in the dark. Dim, more like it. Metro Manila as lit by lights hanging on the post like a crucified man.



In the little social biosphere that I live in, after-sex does not mean post the carnal act. It does not mean waking up at 7am with a man beside you. It can merely be defined as the state of yourself where your shirt is more than 3 sizes too big for you, your hair is messed up, and your lipstick is naturally smudged off.

And I bring my friend home, after-sexed. Very. Drunk.


Another friend told me: "Die fast, live young".

Hilarious. Something like that you can not just make up on your own. He really did say that.



What is this infatuation for the non-reality called glamour? Ah, yes. The short-lived, exclusive, luxurious, and unrewarding vision called glamour.

This non-reality lead people to indulge in irrational pleasures and make improper decisions. Life is not a fairytale, my friend. Yes, you, my after-sexed friend. Wake up and smell the stench of Manila. Of vommit.

Day 14

2 weeks, 12 hours ago, I was at the carpeted hotel room floor, with the couch cover as a blanket, laptops and papers and cali's and mudshakes strewn all over the floor, and singing happy birthday with a bunch of ultra-stressedout girls.

...

Nica: Ito ung pruweba na masaya tayo
Ji: Oo nga. Pag 30 years old na tayo tas may nagsabi na ang lungkot ko, papakita ko to. Tas sasabihin ko, 'Masaya kaya kami nung 19. Yan o. Tigna mo o. O. O!"

...

I'm waiting for the October issue of Rogue Magazing and I'm down on my kneew praying that it wont be anything im vaguely interested about. Like food for example. Or sports. Eeek.

The reason I like Rogue Magazine actually is bacause it has great contributors. Unlike most magazines, the articles are actually art in themselves. Double that up with great layouts and photographs, quality glossy paper, and that crisp magazine scent that I always need to keep me reading. Uhhuh uhhuh.

...

Best ideas come around in the morning. When you just wokeup. And you look messy and groggy and well, very human.

Where din my stripes go?

"Kaya hindi mo alam kung ano gusto mo.. kasi, in the first place, lahat gusto mo."

...

...


"For men, dealing with hair does not require as complicated and taxing a daily ritual as that of their female counterparts. For most, it merely involves a few elementary steps.

Step1: Wake up
Step2: Get into shower and shmpoo
Step3: Toweldry or for the lazy ones--airdry
Step4: Apply clay/wax/whatever styling products lay conveniently on the sink
Step5: Style hair like you just have woken up

"
-The Naturalist Pg.130

...

Pictionary

The horror.

it's official. i love parties. and all those that goes with it.

Todays.

Before I finally give up on the internet and take a long shower instead, I'm going to blog.

And no, Mon dearest, I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING INTERSTING FOR YOU.

Ehem.


Who blogs about their day? Like ever? I mean, I don't. Yesterday was perfect though. Extremely happy. Today is fine, I guess. Well, it's nice too. Maybe I should count the reasons.


Yesterday:

I told teta dearest that I'm going to school at/before seven. Which ofcourse, knowing me, never happens. So I got to the gallery at 8:30. MY PICTURE IS HANGING ON THE WALL! AND I CANT HIDE THE FACT THAT ITS ME! Well, hooray!, I know. But ugh. Having your picture on the wall means its vulnerable to criticism. Which matters to me, because I do not have too strong a personality to accept that.

So anyway, we rocked (ish) the AdPrac reporting on the Automated Voting System Advocacy Campaign for COMELEC.

I can't remember what happened next but I can remember painting kuya model of LP class in a really rich dark brown hue and he looks so aetha-ish. ETHNIC! ETHNIC! That tone! You know what I mean, girlsies.


Then Te says she's leaving. Which totally destroyed my world. I can not lose another sunshine! But atleast they're holding hands....dsfjkshfkjahd


Today:

Everyone went straight to Jomp's. Did photog plates. Really lovely McDo breakfast. I SLEPT SUPER SUPER SUPER SOUNDLY! GRABE! ANG SARAP MATULOG SA RETIRO.

Went to school. Theo exams. 90%! Wohooo!

Everyone went their own way. I bought and paid for everyone's materials. You all owe me 15Php.


Had the wonderful sepia-filtered late afternoon with everyone. Everyone had great pictures!

BK. Swore I'll play billiards soon. Probably this sembreak.

Went home. Had great chat with my mom.

Got so bored. Blogged.

...

Everything will have eyes soon

Words

Doing Lines

Time out of mind + Jack of speed + Slang of ages

Children we have it right here
Its the light in my eyes
Its perfection and grace
Its the smile on my fae

Tonight when I chase the dragon
The water may change to cherry wine
And the silver will turn to gold
Time out of mind


Just by chance you crossed the diamond with the pearl
You turned it on the world
Thats when you turned the world around
On the hill the stuff was laced with kerosene
But yours was kitchen-clean
Everyone stopped to stare at your Technicolor motor-home


Katy tried
I was halfway crucified
I was on the other side of tomorrow

Now.

The Infamous Donatella Versace, the queen of couture...

And ^that^, my lovely friends, is the reason why I'll never get anything done besides my teeth (because, I already have and it proved to be the best decision evah).

...


On the other notes, Guil had all his acads work done, which makes me feel so left out, even if people are progressing the same pace as I am. It's just that, if someone can do it, then why can't I?

It's not like I've got lots of things to do... so no excuses, ayt?

...

On the Emo-er side of life, BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN! I think it might be just a simple no-fuzz case of PMS... either way, when stuff like this happens, I just want to bum with people, friends or non-friends, whichever, and just drink.

MY MY! WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MYSELF?

No pressure, though.

I can blame me, but what the heck?

...

Sigh. Swooners. They know their way around, don't they?

Whatever. I hate you.

...


I'm off to work dears. PFFFFF!

Attempt #1

It's been a while since I've written anything of importance or interest to anybody aside from myself, and I still don't think I am about to do that right now, but it's worth a try.

Ehem ehem.

Evolution.


Fine, I'm fooling (ish) myself into believing that I am actually evolving as a better person. Due to boredom (which is the patriot of pretty much everything), there's nothing much to do but fix yourself up every once in a while. Emotionally. Mentally. Uh huh.. whatever.


again.

Ehem.

....Because I can't think of anything anymore, I'm decluttering my blog as of this october.

Oh there we go. It's October! Woooh! Another month of trivialities, blunders, stress, and the occasional kilig moments from men (err boys) who are all definitely useless. Anyhows, more trying to figure out where I want to get myself to everyday and not thinking about the consequences or how I'm getting myself back home: Merville, Bacood, ol great UST, ol great Banawe, SM Sta Mesa, my sister's rooms, possibly Napocor Village, out-of-town trips, and God knows where as long as I don't rot in my room indulging in reads then turning emo and senseless 10pm onwards.


There.

That's better.


Also, have I discussed how boredom is the root of all evil, goodness, and everything in between? Uh-huh. Well, it is. Idleness can change history. The most daring antics are anticipated when you're mind is running and running yet doesnt have an outlet for its energy. Uhhuh.

On idle moments, you start complicating your life by thinking too much, therfore causing misery for yourself and the people around you. Or, you can watch TV, preferebly some amusing slice-of-life sitcoms and you end up either a.) jealous because they live such colorful lives despite the mundane-ity or b.) uhhh, well, smiling.

And sometimes, you drink. Just out of boredom. Not from personal experience, I swear.

Or, you blog!

Random

Namimihasa ka na. You don't wear makeup anymore.

...

I can tie my hair now.


...

My back is aching.

...

I can't do rim light.

...

I want that f-2.8 50mm Lens, but I dont think I deserve it.

...

Fuck. Sayang.

...


I'm sleeping in the same mess I made.

O sembreak, paligayahin mo ako.

stop counting

I can't even attempt it.

It's 3.04 pm and I've yet to leave my room. I've been awake since 10, but I'd go from fiddling with the PC, then re-hibernating.

After 3?5? days of stress...wow! Ang sarap. Todo.


Fine maliligo na ko in a while.


I sooo need to finish my Ad Design plate already.


I WANT TO WRITE BUT I DO NOT HAVE MATERIAL!

'Ramon' says

Ramon Rios (9/29/2008 9:37:48 PM): pg mei gus2 kang gawin, dpat buo loob mo para wlang pgsisisi
maccaroo (9/29/2008 9:37:58 PM): oooohhh
Ramon Rios (9/29/2008 9:38:01 PM): kc kung mei khit onting pgdududa, wg mo ng i2loy


...

Stress. Konte nalang and everyone will be acting in their worst behaviours. But in the end love's love.

...


Reading Archie Comics is so relaxing because it is such an archetype. There's the nice guy, the nice girl, the snob, the slob, the slut, the male-slut, the jock, the brain... and it just fits well.

Life is not complicated.

Life is a consistent fairy tale of Poptate's and Junior Year.

...

Uh-huh. Daring.

Shallowity

Maybe life would be so much better if things were a little bit more shallow. It's actually the great vacation if I start seeing things in the light side, not the damaged philosophical-psychonalysis-spiritual way I strangely immerse myself in 24/7.

Maybe it's not about power. Maybe it's not about stress.

Maybe it's not about how different girls are from boys are from men.

Maybe it's not about the fucking IMC Plan.

It's better if I don't like pleasing yous. It's okay. :)



hajhaksfhkashfdkasf.


...

September: Monthly Tagalog Post

Ewan ko kung bakit, pero wala naman ako gusto at dapat patunayan.
Wow.


Pero natatakot na din ako dahil hindi ko na alam kung ano ang mangyayari. Panu kung madala ka?

Wow. Emo. Tagalog version.

...

Bestie, alam ko naman na lagi kang tama. Kung hindi lagi, MADALAS. Mga 95% of the time. Diba? Since "bata" pa tayo...

Hindi naman ako kokontra e. Alam ko naman na mahal mo ko at gusto mo lang kung anung makakabuti sakin. Lagi. Bilang kapatid at alaga mo.


(Fuck you drama)
...


[Tagalog Mode Off]


I just wish...

Rub

You'll never know how much that means to me.

Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita.

Once upon a time.

Me, two years ago. Gawd I'm skinny. I had such pretty hair. Ack. And the hottest pair of legs known to mankind.

No after pictures for this one. :*

Lablab

"Ang oras ay biglang natrapik."
I just wanna kiss you.
:*


And when we get the there we're gonna fly so faraway, making sure to laugh while we experience antigravity.

Ugh.

Stop. That.

Uhhuh.


Your eyes hurt and it feels like its tearing up.

Somethings are more importan than the either, though the matter is completely irrelevant.

Brigtherers

I've been avoiding my room like plague for the past three days. I've been sleeping everywhere but. The other night, I slept at Jul's and Jas's, then I slept at the rec room, then the master's... then some nights, I'm not sleeping at all.

Everything's just so messy.

Nothing's at it's proper place and I have no time or energy or inspiration to fix anything. Grabe. I'm still at my all time low. Well, typically low.. not exageratedly. Labo nun ah.


I don't know when I'll be sleeping tonight though. God please save me because I have this sinking, nagging feeling that I'll be having an alcohol fix tonight. Which is wrong because I have no budget or tolerance for it anymore. And I can't afford to miss another class tomorrow. But you know how my relation to peer pressure is... so, there.



On the low of lows side of life: I'm still missing A LOT OF PHOTOS FOR PHOTOGEE, I do not have the balls to do an AdPrac Jingle and I am back at 88 pounds, when I'm supposed to be 90.


On the brighter side of life, I will officially be growing my hair.


On the brighterer side of life, I have finally revived mi iPod, I will be formatting my laptop (AGAIN FOR THE NTH TIME), and I have finally conceptualized for my Ad design events plate, and I have parties and non parties left and right which is exactly how I need life to be.


On the unbright side, I am late for my PD submission. Which, well, sucks.

Love Letter

There's nothing else in the world I'd want to do, but can't seem to, than to write you this love letter.

Call me speechless, if you must.

I've been sitting here for past an hour, pen in hand, scratching and scrawning my way, attempting to express how much you mean to me. I can't find the right words.

Perhaps all the good words in the dictionary would suffice. Perhaps all the romantic expressions other people have spoken of can suitingly express what I want to tell you.

I want to weave words poetically. To be able to elaborate how much madness my falling in love with you has caused me.

I've been told that love hurts. That the pain of a broken heart is way beyond the pains of the greatest form of physical injury. That the damage it makes can change how my life goes.

But meeting you has already changed my life. You have struck me with so much desire. Everything you do is beautiful. Every movement is charm. Every word you speak is boundless. And no amount of pain, not at the moment and not at the future, can stop me from loving every single inch of you.

Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting her not to.


Then they ask me why I risk having you, of all people, break my heart? And burst of reasons come about.

Life before you was vast emptiness, where pleasure weighed more than reason. Where reason weighed more than my heart. Then you come around, with all your lovelines and I started living like I've never before.

I feel more intensely alive, more intensely real. As if the dimming filter of numbness was shattered before my very eyes. The world suddenly shouts with bright colors, sharply outlined shaped, evocative scents, intriguing textures, music, laughter and flashes of joy.

The world was warmer, sweeter, and lovelier. Happiness was embodied in the little girl that is you. And no one else comes near to the love you make me feel. My heart is overflowing with your loveliness and no room is left for all other desires because you fill every crevice and corner.


In my heart and in my mind there is bliss.

With all the set of words I've sworn and impressed, I've been dying to tell you only these: I love you. So much and so dearly. I love you.

...don't ask.

Latest collaboration with THE Pepe Le Pepew.

Fluctuating

Life can be fragile. Very.

Life can kiss you on the ass one moment, then slice your fingers off in the next.

Today's Friday but Sunday will come.

...

I am fighting the losing battle against a cliched life

...

Fluctuating is better than an all time low. :*

Moi

I think, I'll be growing my hair. Comments, dears?

...


More stuff to do:

Ad des.. Conceptualization
Photog.. ALL THE PICS
Find PD instructions
Ad Prac.. Jingle T_T

...

Fine, don't comment.. since i don't have much of a choice anymore.

I want:

1. to wear the comfiest jeans as pambahay.
2. wear nail polish again.
3. use my dslr. ive been idle for a week already



i reaally do want to wear my jeans at home. comfy comfy. and a bit loose white tank. pretty. :)

Thought

Mackyboy would always tell me back then to travel beyond my comfort-zones. I never quite figured out what my comfort zone is and to what extent it applies.

According to my psycho-analysis damaged train of thought, possibly, I am having a hard time adapting to the fact that life is imperfect. Curse of virgoes, perfectionists. Something will always be bound to go wrong even if you push your LOA powers to the limit.


Even if things do go wrong, everything will be alright... well, depending on how you define 'alright'.

Ang lupit naman ng post na to. Mind boggling siya in fairness.

...

I miss Geno. So much.

"Walang Nagbago"

Despite the possible consequences, I'm posting this.

Do read.

clicky click:
jyrmpbs.blogspot

On Pride.

Pride. It's something you have the ability to turn on and off.

Pagdating sa sorries, mababa lng pride ko. Kung hindi lng annoying e. Pagdating sa family, tama lng. Keme. Pagdating sa mga saleslady sa malls, fluctuating. Pagdating sa lalake, shet ang taas. Shy ako e! Pagdating sa bisyo, ang baba. Sobra. Konteng peer pressure lang.


Ack. I'm all weirded out again.

What's gonna happen to me?

How common is depression?

Amici.

Please. :( Tonight. :( Mozarella.

Secret Weapons

Weaknesses: Magazines with great layout. As I always say, Presentation is everything.


...


Boyfriends are divided in two categories:

Category A:
Tall probably pretty guys, defined by how rich and cool he is. Good conversationalist with a 300peso plus haircut and high tech gadgets

Category B:
Everything that falls under True Love.

(Ach.)

...

Why am I getting so incredibly obviously short. There are people out there who are just as short as I am, yet no one seems to notice. Is it the hair??

Or maybe you all just know me well.

Despite that:

True Friends = People who know how actually short I am.

Load

Pleasure = Cold hot choco PLUS Nica's happy songs PLUS Paper works.

I love paperworks. It's justa good change from the everyday mess of paint and lead.



Stuff to do:

*Ad Prac: Research on 'yuppies', 'statistics', e.g.; Chapter 5; 6; Compilation and Edit; Radio Ad Script;
*LP Painting: Big painting with reference (I hate)
*PD: Choose Artist; Make studies
*Photo: Prelims, take Human subject with flash, High Key?, Candle Light?, Nigh Scene without Flash, Led light, Light sculpture, Scrupture painted with flash, Double Exposure
*Ad Des: THINK, Make Logo

On Another Note:
*Clean my room
*Charge Ipod after 10 years
*Buy flash for Cam
*TAKE PAU OUT! OUR NIGHT!
*Hannah Lopez's Debut which I am so looking forward to go. Nakalimutan na nga ata niya na invited nia ko e. Iunno. I'm still going though.
*Capture Flyers
*Check Up (for more tha one reasons)


Since I spend the day sleeping for 12 hours, reading magazines and going online half the waking time, socializing for the rest, and SO not working, the load's just swamping on me. Grabe. Haha.

I guess this really is life.

Charmed, this one. This is MOST of what life's got to offer.

Fire in his belly

Passions.

9.12

I'm currently reading Chep and Camille's "The Reader."

I soo did not finish Sophie's World. Ack. Good thing I did not take law. Philosophy sucks especially if you're studying it in your own accord with no guidance or whatsoever.

The Reader is a much calmer read. And miraculously, less emo. Would you believe THAT?


...


Btw, I heart the Fossil watch ma gave me. It's far from THE Kenneth Cole watch I absolutely loved last year, still, this one's pretty. It took me a while to appreciate it actually, but it's actually nice...in a rugged, not too classy, but posh none the less way.

And it's so cowboy! And my arms look sooo fragile in it.

...

Overnight at Wi's tomorrow. Newsflash: The new house has jacuzi! Weeeee!!

Pictionary - LTS Series

Pictures, once more, speak louder than words.

The most unfortunate and UNanticipated twists of events


I heart orange!


And I heart these guys more. :*

LTS

I need better pictures!!!
But this would have to do, I guess.

Details

"Even more damaging than the consumer culture is the use of generalities. When we initially ask people what they need from other people, we usually get vague answers: “I need respect,” “space,” “love,” “to be understood.” Yet what do these really mean? These generalities act as barriers to relationships. We expect the other person to second-guess what we really want. And they can’t! Others will filter these words or phrases through their own childhood experiences, and they will mean different things than they do to us."

Statistics

According to National Statistics Office:

Census count 8 years ago:
Male and Female


Our age group can be found at the 10-14 and 5-9 age bracket.

For a clearer shot of the record:
__AGE____|_total pop_|___male___|_female__|sexratio|
5 to 9_____|1,045,297_|__536,296_|_509,001_|_105.36_|
10 to 14___|_914,010_|__461,142_|_452,868_|_101.83_|

applicable only to NCR year 2000.


Conclusion:
The odds are in favor of us girlies! Yippeee. Huwahahaha.

source: NCR,NSO

Mas sumasakit katawan ko pag nasa bahay lng ako whole day kesa nag amazing race ako. T_T.

Marci

You will meet different people in your life, lots of them. You will greet them in school, chat with them at pavs and yosihan sheds, see them around the mall, colaborate with them workwise... but only few of these people will actually be part of your lives.
(Statement as told by Ji in response to our not wanting to make friends with new people anymore).

...

I have the perfect girls in the world. :)



"...ang perfect kaya ng college life ko dahil sa inyo.."
"...stay pretty, rich, cool, smart. basta lahat ng magaganda..."


Wi's Trivias about Macci
-you hate trinoma
-umiiyak ka pag may cute
-crush mo si.... basta madami
-wala kang gusto as of the moment
-pacute ka by heart
-mahilig ka magjudge ng panget
-[censored]
-[censored]
-in love ka sa love
-masaya ka ngayon
-[censored]
-[censored]
-bwl maglandian sa harap mo
-tinawanan mo si _-_-m last week
-love mo si aiwa, love ko din sya
-hindi ka nanunuod ng tv
-mahilig ka sa sex jokes and poor jokes
-bestfriend mo si _ _ _ _ y <3
-happy birtday, mas maganda ka kay...




...

OH MY GOD!
AKALA KO 7 PASOK!

I woke up at 7:00 and decided not to go to school kasi it's too late na. Ngayon ko lng narealize na 9 ang pasok.. and it's noe 9.30 am. SHEEET!

sfdhkjsfha


The fuck!!

I'm Baaacck!!!

I'm back sweethearts, darlings, dears and loveys.

I never actually went away as you may all now know. I was ranting with august thoughts away.

I just didnt want to bother you with the effing emo-ness.


So I'm back now. And I love yous.


It's 12:56 pm and I've yet to brush my teeth and all that shit. And I just want to be back, I dont want to write yet though.

Love love.


THANKS FOR MISSING ME EVERYONE!

HAPPY 19

This was the first birthday that I didnt expect to be perfect. The first birthday that isn't just about me. It's about the people around me, not just how I want everything to be fairy tale pretty.

And sometimes, you get the best things when you dont expect them. YOU DO get the best things when you don't expect them.

Super thank you kay Kookie. Dear I love you. Salamat sobra sa gift kasi sobrang hindi ko ineexpect na bibigyan mo ko ng gift. Waaaah. Thank you super. Touched ako.

I didnt want to say to much lest sounding insincere, but since, you never read my blog anyway, there's no way I'm sucking up!


Nagulat din ako kay Camille and kay Chep. Kasi they got what I wanted. And si Camille even thought about it. Waaah. Ang cute nio. (PAKSHETTT!!) I could say more, but need I?

Alam ko din na bibigyan ako dapat ni Miguel ng Gin, pero di natuloy. Still, it's the thought that counts.

Mami and Alpreddd, wapak ung Magnum shirt. Mapapadalas kita mo sakin na suot un. Exactly what I needed.

And sa extra gift ni Ji, na 2 Yanyans. :)


And ofcourse, GIRLS, OO NA! BUMALIK AKO SA PAGKABATA DAHIL SA GIFT NIO. MAHAL NA MAHAL KO KAYO. AND SPECIAL KAYO FOREVER KASI COOL TAYO!


Kay Aiwa, for being there. Sa dad ko for doing the groceries. Kay ma for the spaghetti. Kay tita Louisa and Ate Neng for helping with the chores. Para kay Tin, Rog, and sa lahat ng maaga dumating. Kay Jin, kay Te, kay Con, Mel, Niko, BASTA. KAy Dad, kay jomps, kay khan... SA LAHAT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME I LOVE YOUS.


Salamat sa lahat ng dumalo. I love yous. Sana nagenjoy kayo.


Waaaaah! I love yous. Sniff sniff. :( Love love.


Wow.

To Do List

School Stuff:

1. PD Studies
2. Theo
3. Photog
4. Life Painting
5. Ad Des
6. OVER OVER OVER DUE HW for Ad Prod

Drinker's Remorse

Sober up, lovely.


I don't want to do anything crazy and feel this big big big elephant calld remorse hang about the next day. Ever.


I will not go out on friday nights from NOW ON. I swear.


You are living the life you've always wanted (again). Cheers, sweetheart. And get up. Do you plate. Go to school.

Love.

Dear,

Thanks for understanding me forever.
For being 19 with me.

Sorry dahil kinukuha ko lahat ng pantali mo tapos di ko binabalik tapos nagpapagupit ako.
And sa pagsama sa mga trip ko na hindi pang bata.




Thanks girls sa lahat ng candy.
And H2Hs. And for all the love.

And sa pagtolerate sakin dahil im the ff:
a. papansin
b. pacute
c. mean
d. and most of all, feeling!

I LOOVE YOU. WAAAH. CRY CRY.

8.28

Despite old beliefs, I'm starting to convince myself on the contrary (wow. Ang labo ng sentence.)

My point?

Writing is actually keeping me sane instead of turning me crazy. Although, creative writing may possibly do a better job of restoring my sanity. Whatever.

...


I want to blog more deary, but I have work to do. PD studies which I'm planning to rock.


...

OPEN LETTERS:

Dear You, Thank you for everything. You've always been nice to me. Love love. :*

[morena mode off]

They didn't make it on friendster, they may atleast make it on my bloggie. :) In no particular order.

Products of my attempt to capture the browness of my hair. (Failed, but the pics look pretty. :D )

...

BTW. It's the perfectest hair EVER! I swear!

Haircut

Oh yeah, btw, I had a haircut. And very discrete hair color.

One day conclusions:
1. The haircut's too even. Which is weird because I clearly requsted my hairdresser for it to be uneven. Sucks.
2. Hair color's a little less discrete than last time. Gawd, I look so red.


I REALLY WANT SHOULDER-LENGTH HAIR.

I'm not cutting my hair until FEB! I mean, I'm not sure if I can do that, but now that I've told everyone, that's another innovation.

Confess

I clinically depressed.


There! I said it!


Yup. Mild depression. From too much thinking. I don't want a happy pill or anything of the sort, but maybe I need it.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck!
:(

Aside from that, I spend too much. As in too much. My family's spending a little overboard recently. And I'll be spending more soon. My birthday's comig up and I haven't invited much people yet. I don't even want to think about it.

Gawd.

I'm depressed.

I've known this since... I don't know. And to think, I'm actually better these days.


Please make me stop spending. It's freaky.

Fact or fiction shit

When will the day that i stop thinking about the twists of human nature come?
The day that I'll wakeup and smell the air and go on?

Deep.


I can't help buth think of true love these days. Pessimistically speaking (haba nun), does it really exist? Let me rephrase that with a more fitting selection of words... Does true love really ffuucckkiinggg exist?

Human beings are not wired to be monogamous. We just really need changes. Naiinip tayo. Imagine facing the next 40, 50 or even 80 years of your life looking at the same person eveery single day. How do you keep the magic that way?

It's not impossible, of course, but that's pretty difficult. Magka magic palang with someone, it's already much of a challenge.

Okay, so maybe it does exist. The odds are still against it. In the fast moving world where you meet people of different natures every single day, the way we were meant to exist/act as humans, the pleasant and unpleasant surprises of life... will it ever be there?


It's the ultimate high, you know. Love. The thought of loving someone all your life. One person who deserves you and you truly deserve. The person who makes you smile, content, horny (sorry. But, hello, it's true!), precious and appreciated. The person who will make you a better and happier person until the end.


Sigh. Love. The vice of humanity.

Sisters.

I love my sisters very much. I don't say it enough, because, well... hellooo, they're just around everyday. Psychologically speaking, you take for granted everything that has no value of scarcity. But well, I really do love them. And I'm happy we're sisters. I love you Jul and Jas. :*

Lalalalala :)

Ang astig ni Heath Ledger.

Too bad he's dead.


This entry is so long overdue.


I loved Batman : The Dark Knight. Sobra. You have no idea.

I mean, you know how everyone's going through some weird psychopathy these days, right? Or well, maybe that's just me.


Wait. Deja vu?

Or baka naman nasulat ko na to before.


...


Funny, you guys dont know that I'm still blogging. I can't NOT blog, you know. I can't help it. My hands will always find a way to get itself on a keyboard and type away like there's no tomorrow. Despite the senselessness, I still write. I'm just waiting for one of us to giveup on me. It's either you dear readers whom I've been sneakily cheating on, or myself.

...

OBSERVATIONS:

Ehem.

Ang epal ng world. Pag hindi ako nagsulitxt, may nagtetext sakin. Tas pag nagsulitxt ako, wala naman nagtetext. WHAT DA FUCK!


P.S. Macci. Please stop stalking your crushes. Para kang gago.

.

In English:

"Text me, you motherfuckingbitch! Fuck you!"


In Tagalog:

"Itext mo ko! Isa kang mothefuckingbitch! Pakyu!"

Pleasures

It's official.

I like going home drunk. Semi.

Easier said than done. Pero pag andun ka na sa moment, nagisisisi ka, dahil... basta! Tapos you curse yourself the next day because hang overs are the worstest worstests! Ever.


Pleasures in life:

1. Going out really late.
2. Spending
3. Gossip
4. Political conversations: Talking about religion, batman, the government, and hollywood.. etc etc.
5. Making out with someone you like.
6. Taking great pictures
7. Watching feel good movies
8. Milo
9. Compliments
10. KNOWING HE LIKES YOU!WOOOHOOHOOHOOO!
11. When your toe nails are clean and painted with clear polish. Ang ganda e.
11. Cleaning your ears na sobrang sarap tumitirik mata mo
12. Mozarella pizza from Amici
13. Finishing a plate and loving it
14. Anything ethereal
15. Good mornings :)
16. Doing something nice for someone. (Nakanaks!)
17. Peace and quiet
18. Busyness
19. New people
20. Old friends
21. Good company!!!
22. Salon moments
23. Going to new places
24. Answering an exam you actually studied for!


Yeaaahhh... I am a sucker for good company. Pakshet. Talo ka jan e.

Independence

I don't want to write this down anymore, but I guess I should.

I'm starting to be independent again. Original goal, right? Always have been.


Birthday's coming up soon. Come one, come all!

:)

For a happy heart. Always do what you believe is right.

Night.

I'm such a loser because:

1. I love going out late. It doesnt matter if it's just a bit late (8-11PM), late (11PM-2AM), or reallt late (2AM-7PM). I just love going out late.
2. I love the smell cigarette smoke leaves on my shirt when I get home. Really really really love it.
3. Love being tipsy. But I can't stand beer. And I hate throwing up. You can't have the best of both worlds, I believe.
4. I dress up when not being dressed up is just fine. E.g. Uniform / Pambahay.
5. I am pacute. I am sneaky. I am sly snake.
6. And I am the loserest of all the losers BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY SAY NA ANG DAMING NAGKAKACRUSH SAKIN (ayihee.. self centered bitch. conceited. feeling. burn in hell) NO ONE'S MAKING A MOVE. (no one likes you enough to mooove!)

look closer. that's me.